At 25, everyone wants to date someone who’s hot and sexy. As you mature, however, you realize what’s inside a person is more important than what is outside. The older you get, the more you lose your list. Here are 10 surprising elements I’ve learned are not essential to a great partner.

  1. Looks

When you’re 25, you think you need to date someone who looks like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. As you mature, you see that looks aren’t the most important quality in a partner.

  2. Finances

As you grow older, you’re more financially secure. You can take care of yourself and don’t need someone else to constantly provide for you. The financial status of your significant other isn’t as important as it used to be.

  3. Commonalities

As you have more life experience, you begin to want more independence. You need more space than you used to. You don’t have the same desire to spend 24/7 with your partner. You enjoy your alone time so you can each have your own hobbies and interests.

  4. Age

When you were 25, the age of your partner was very important. As you grow up, age doesn’t matter as much. Now, you realize age is just a number and you can find something in common with people of all different ages.

  5. Height

When you’re young and inexperienced, height matters. As you date more people, you appreciate that there are tons of great men and women who are a little shorter or taller than you’d like them to be.

  6. Weight

As you grow older, you lose a lot of your list and are much more open minded. The desire to date someone with six-pack abs is no longer there. You understand that finding a good person is more important.

  7. Career

As people age, sometimes they switch careers to follow their dream. They leave the high-powered corporate world to do what they love. This shows they’re passionate about something, which is a quality everyone loves. As you age, the career of your significant other is one of the more irrelevant things.

8. Religious Habits

Once upon a time, dating someone within the same stream of Judaism might have been a non-negotiable. But, as time passes, you begin to think that sharing the same Jewish affiliation isn’t as important as sharing the same values.

  9. Location

When you’re young and imagining your life with your significant other, you think their location is important. As you become more settled in life and your career, you’re more open to dating someone who doesn’t live down the block.

  10. Kids

If you ask any 25-year-old if they’ll date someone with kids, they’ll say absolutely not. If you ask any 35-year-old the same question, their answer will be different. As you evolve and learn more about yourself, you realize there are many things worse than dating someone with kids.

As you grow up, you realize that being open minded is the way to falling in love. You don’t focus on the little things because you realize the big picture is important. At the end of the day, all men and women want is someone to love and cherish them.