1. Be Confident

Both men and women are drawn to confidence. Unfortunately, confidence is sometimes hard to find in your twenties. Still, a person who is sure of themselves is very attractive to the opposite sex. Tap into your inner confidence no matter where you are or who you are with – fake it if you must, and you’ll start to believe it eventually!


  1. Keep An Open Mind

Being open to new things is key. You have to prevent yourself from being judgmental. Give everyone and everything a chance. You might go to a restaurant you don’t like, or a show that’s not your taste, but these experiences will help you grow as a person. So, be open-minded. You might be pleasantly surprised!


  1. Let Her Make The First Move

In 2014, it’s totally acceptable for women to make the first move. Online, women are messaging men. At bars, they’re approaching men and giving them their number. Sometimes, they’re even asking men out. Women are okay with it, so it’s time for men to welcome it as well!


  1. Lose Your Friend With Benefits

Being friends with benefits is never a good idea. It’s very common, but it usually leads to someone getting hurt. Don’t settle for something less than you deserve. Hold out for a significant other… with lots and lots of benefits!


  1. Leave Your Past Behind

The past is in the past for a reason. No one wants to hear stories about your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. People want to learn about you. So focus on the present, not the past.


  1. Don’t Jump Into Bed Too Soon  

When you like someone, sleeping with them too early is a terrible idea. You want them to respect you. If you jump into bed too soon, they aren’t going to value you like they should. Don’t get intimate until you’ve had a conversation about where the relationship is going.


  1. Be Game Free

Games are for children. If you receive a call or a text from someone you’re interested in, respond in a timely fashion. There’s no need to wait a day to respond.


  1. Listen

You can learn a lot about someone just from listening to what they say. Keep in mind that their actions speak louder than their words. So, if they’re saying one thing and doing another, pay attention to what they’re doing… because their actions are telling you everything!


  1. Never Assume

When you’re seeing someone often, and talking multiple times throughout the day, many people assume you’re dating exclusively. However, that often isn’t the case. Until you’ve had a conversation where you both decide to only date each other, don’t presume you’re exclusive.


10.  Say Please and Thank You

Everyone values manners and politeness. Men and women want to date someone who is respectful and well-mannered. So, be polite all the time. Thank someone for buying you dinner, and let them know when you’ve had a good time.


11.  Let The Man Be The Man

Yes, I know that #3 advises women to step up and make the first move. However, it’s also sometimes important to let men be men. Women: let your guy plan the date and show you that he can court you. Don’t hijack his role. Men: make plans and let your date know just how excited you are to see HER!


12.  Make an Effort

Dating requires effort. You want to make sure you’re always putting your best foot forward. You should be the best version of yourself. Before you go out on a date, make sure you look and feel amazing.


13.  Pick Up The Phone

While it’s easy to communicate without picking up the phone, it isn’t practical. Before you go out with someone, you should have a phone conversation. Hearing a person’s voice gives you a better sense of who they are. Do not text, email or send a message via social media to ask someone out on a first date. Do you really want to tell that story when people ask how you met?


14.  Be In The Know

Intelligence is sexy. Men and women want to date someone who can teach them something. Read the papers and watch the news every day so you’re aware of what’s going on in the world.


15.  3 Strikes Before They’re Out

No one is completely authentic on a first date. People are usually nervous and sometimes a bit awkward. You should go out with someone three times to give them a fair chance. You could have a great second date with someone you weren’t attracted to on the first date. When you really give someone a chance, you’re opening yourself up to love.


16.  Get Some Swagger

Men and women want to date someone exciting; someone who brings something to the table and has an edge. It’s essential to make sure you’re playful and fun. Charisma and charm are two important qualities that are universally loved.


17.  Put Yourself Out There

You should meet new men or women almost on a daily basis. You’re the one who’s in charge of your social calendar, so start going out! Going to different happy hours is a great way of putting yourself out there. Who doesn’t love an after-work cocktail!? There are also a lot of social sport clubs you can join, which is an easy and active way to meet new people.


18.  Stay Stylish

Don’t give up on your look just because you’re out of school and no one in your office seems to care about how they dress. Both women and men want to date someone stylish – someone who’s unique and trendy. They want to date someone they can show off. So, embrace fashion and be stylish!


19. Expand Your Hobbies

Passionate people are very attractive. When you have hobbies and interests to discuss, you’re much more attractive to the opposite sex. Figure out what you’re interested in, and go do it!


20.  Believe In Karma

Treat people the way you want to be treated. Be kind and courteous to everyone. Learn this now and it will do you well – in both dating and your everyday life!


Carly Spindel is the Vice President of Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc. She has seen the matchmaking business firsthand since she was 6 years old. As the daughter of Janis Spindel, Carly has been called mini Janis since she could walk and has learned the inside tricks of the trade from Janis! Carly has been matching her own clients for the past 4 years, and runs Janis’ Express Matchmaking and Junior Matchmaking divisions. You can learn more about Carly and Janis Spindel Serious Matchmaking Inc. at
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