You’ve probably heard of the five love languages by now. It all started with a book by Dr. Gary Chapman and has gone on to become one of the top ways to talk about relationship today. Despite the fact that the book was published over 20 years ago, people are still using the concepts to help their relationships thrive.
That’s all well and good, but what if you’re not even at the relationship stage yet?! You may have thought the love languages don’t really apply to single life, but guess again. You can actually apply the same rules (with a few tweaks) to your online dating attempts in order to get better results. Check out how each of the love languages can be used when you’re just getting to know someone.
Gifts don’t really come into play early in a relationship. There’s so much awkwardness about whether a gift is too much or not enough. But if you want to give your date a gift, you can keep things simple by making it seem like a nice gesture rather than bestowing a special present upon them. For example, pick up a favorite candy they mentioned on your way to meet up at the movies. No wrapping paper or gift bag necessary – just a nice treat that makes them feel appreciated.
Acts of Service
Love being a helper? This is the perfect love language for you. Couples hear that they should help by taking out the trash or doing the dishes – not very helpful when you barely know someone. For those early dates, however, there are plenty of ways to perform acts of service, including holding the door for them or picking them up on the way to the date. Think about the little things you can do to make the date feel easy and carefree for the other person.
Woah, buddy – don’t get too excited by the prospect of this love language. You just met, so physical touch is a bit limited unless you want to give off a creepy vibe. Going for a hug is one way to do it, though you can also lightly touch their arm or hand while talking – very subtle but very effective for those who like this love language.
For couples, this one usually comes with advice to “make time for date night.” Um, when you’re just getting to know each other, every time you see each other is date night! So how do you make it quality time? Make sure your date nights include plenty of face-to-face time and opportunities to talk, and think outside the box when it comes to planning meetups.
Words of Affirmation
Last but not least, we have words of affirmation. Some think it’s the easiest love language since it centers mostly on compliments and expressions of gratitude. But take it a step further by trying to focus on the positive; if someone likes words of affirmation, they’re not going to be attracted to someone with a negative outlook on life.
Sure, the five love languages are great for long-term couples. But why not get some practice in now while you’re still single? Applying the love languages in subtle ways on your dates helps strengthen the connection with a potential match. Plus, it helps you figure out which love language they like the best, which will come in handy if you two end up together!
I am a nice and friendly person who enjoys getting along with other people. I would like to meet someone in the suburbs who is nice, friendly, and has a great sense of humor. Please e-mail me back. Thank you very much and I look forward to hearing back from you. Shabbat shalom.