Cue Liz Lemon of 30 Rock fame for this story. “DEAL BREAKAS!” We are talking about dating deal breakers. Those small, seemingly insignificant gestures that can make a first, second or third date go sour. And there is nothing better than personal experience to help lay the groundwork for this story. Having been in and out of the dating world, I have come to experience all kinds of dating don’ts… and it’s finally time to share some of them with you.
1. Freshen Up!
I’m the first one to say that what you wear to a first date is so important to acknowledge, but by no means am I a stickler about it. Unless your date doesn’t take time to freshen up before meeting you. In the instance of my experience, my date showed up in is oversized “construction” shirt that had his company embroidery and name at his chest pocket. His appearance was messy and disheveled, and it was very obvious that he didn’t wash his hands. His fingernails were dirty! Now, if your work requires you to get your hands dirty, not a problem (that can be attractive!), but take the time to just freshen up, change your shirt, put on a fresh pair of shoes and clean under your nails. Girls want to see that you put a little bit of effort in for them. And when you don’t? Deal Breaka!
2. Avoid Onions and Garlic
Yes, you think this could be an obvious one, but I have been on multiple dates where my date has had some form of onion breath. But I’ll throw in a double whammy, onion breath and a close talker? Oy vey! I could have fallen off my barstool. Gentlemen I urge you to avoid onions, onion bagels, garlic fries, hamburgers with the fixings, veggie omelets or anything in between for 24 hours up to your date. Your date can smell it across the table, under your mint gum and most importantly when you have your first kiss. Sorry to break the bad news. Deal Breaka!
3. Stay Positive
Being a “Debbie Downer” is another a turn off when it comes to dating. Speaking negative in general is a romance buzz kill. Yes, not everyone is happy ALL the time and it is important to be real on your date. But, if your conversation feels heavy, dry, snarky, or low energy – or even if you can’t stop complaining about work – your date will feel that pain too. A great date should leave a girl walking away excited, thrilled, smiling and some serious heart flutter. Bring bad energy? Deal Breaka.
4. Check That Check
When you ask your date to split the bill on the first date? Deal Breaker. Should I even say more about this? Yes it’s “old fashioned” in this modern world, but when it comes to dating, the girl wants you to pay. Here is a little bit of the psychology behind it all. Women want to feel secure with the man they choose. And the feeling of “security” can come in all different types of ways, gestures and expressions. But one of them is for the woman to have the sense that “you’ve got her.” By paying for the bill, she will absolutely feel that. Also, at the core, women just want to know that you like them. Paying for the bill is a small gesture… but can make a big impression.
5. Commit a Location Scouting Fail
Our final deal breaker is the kicker! This one is my favorite because I have encountered this dating “DEAL BREAKA” worthy tactic so many times over the years that it’s laughable when it happens now. That moment when you realize the location your date chose for you to meet at is strategically close to his home, in which he subtly tries to lead you over for an “after date cocktail.” Respecting your date is so important, especially when looking for something serious. This can be a quick indicator to your date that you don’t have intentions for a relationship and are just looking to have fun. But hey, if it works… here’s a bonus Deal Breaka that you should never forget: Gentlemen PLEASE clean up your home! Or at least tuck everything into a closet. There is no bigger turnoff than dirty underwear and animal stains on the floor. Deal Breaka!
What do you think? Do you agree? I’d love to hear what else is a deal breaker for you? Also, this story comes from a girl’s perspective for a guy, I would love to follow up the story with “The Top Deal Breakers Guys Have For Girls,” so share your personal stories or tips in the comments below I will follow up with a story just for you to the ladies!