You’ve seen them on the nightly news, Cosmopolitan Magazine and, most recently, The Nate Berkus Show. Now The Love Consultants, Matt and Tamsen, are sharing their advice with JDate.com members.
Q: “Ask Matt and Tamsen” is more than just a “He Said, She Said” dating advice column. Can you give us the full scoop on what you offer to singles?
From the very beginning we wanted to give our audience the very best in all things “dating and love.” In addition to our own original and popular Q&A’s, we also showcase the latest news, products, books, fashion and personalities that connect to the world of dating and romance. Our “Must Haves” feature items that are all about the things you can wear on a date, or use to ignite the passions in your current relationship.
Q: What is the most common question you receive and how do you respond to it?
The question that I see coming in most often is, “What is he thinking?” The mystery of the “Male Mind” is a constant puzzle, so having Matt reveal those secret thoughts is a real crowd pleaser and something our users devour.
Q: We understand that you host dating boot camps that help singles improve their love life. What can individuals who sign-up for one of these events expect to gain?
Well, first they can expect to have FUN, the energy is always positive and open, which lends itself to an experience where you are not only going to gain insight into the Do’s and Don’ts of the dating world, but you’ll also be relaxed and comfortable enough to discover your past dating sticking points. Being able to shed the “bad stuff” is a huge asset for most single men and women; holding on to the baggage is what keeps most people single in the first place.
Q: You released several iPhone® applications this year, including Pocket Cupid. Please tell us about the products and where our readers can find them?
Pocket Cupid is like having Matt and me in your pocket 24/7. We wanted to create an app where you’d have a “wingman (or woman)” there when you needed some urgent dating and relationship guidance. It’s proven to be a real hit with iPhone users. You can get all our products over at our website, TheLoveConsultants.com.
Q: You have several books under your umbrella and a third one in the works. Is there a central message that is consistent throughout the trilogy which you hope to convey?
Everything we do is about BEING REAL in your relationship. Once you get rid of the game playing, your love life will soar. In writing the books we wanted to bring a real voice and attitude to the dating and relationship genre. Sadly, that focus is usually lacking. Learning “why” he or she is acting that way will give you a better understanding of how to navigate a relationship. Our central message has always been “truth.”
Q: Every dating coach has a unique style. How would you describe your approach to prospective clients?
Matt and I bring something really solid to the world of dating coaches because we’re a married couple! We are working on our relationship every day; we went through the dating “fire,” so to speak, and can deal directly with our client’s passions and pains. It’s definitely an honest and energetic approach.
Q: Number one mistake women and men make when it comes to dating?
Boy is that a tough question because there are SO many things most daters can do wrong. I’d have to say in a very basic reply, “Men feel Women talk too much, and Women feel Men don’t talk enough.” A girl has to keep the mystery and the guy has to be open. If people followed that advice on the first couple of dates we’d be out of business!
Q: You are both based in NYC which we all know can be a dating jungle. Do you have any special survival tips for urban singles?
1. Don’t sleep with someone until you’ve been dating for at least three months. The tie that binds is personality.
2. Whenever a person calls to set up a first date, decline. Say you already have a date and suggest another day.
3. Impose a two-drink maximum on date night. Getting drunk isn’t cute.
4. Never let a person see your apartment on the first date.
5. Don’t talk about past boyfriends, girlfriends, children, pastel colors or that secret affection you have for the Twilight books!
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I’m a mentsch seeking same–and I’m a dad of two barely-adult singles–a son and a daughter.
I like the stated philosophy/advice to be “real” and truthful. I also liked the advice to go slowly (especially regarding my children’s relationships!!!).
However, it’s hard to believe these dating consultants’ claim to be in favor of being real and truthful, in light of this article’s quoted advice from them:
“2. Whenever a person calls to set up a first date, decline. Say you already have a date and suggest another day.”
I’m unsure what to suggest as a response if a guy asks on short notice for a key date time (for example, Saturday evening) and doesn’t provide an excuse for the short notice; for that, perhaps a white lie is appropriate. Generally, however, one can set boundaries without starting off a prospective relationship with a lie.
Suggestion: treat EVERYONE you meet in the dating world in the way you’d want your loved ones to be treated–and expect and require such treatment for yourself.
I mean no offense to the consultants, and would appreciate a post from them or the author with any clarifications.
May we all find/make excellent matches, and may we treat each other well along the way.