Dear Rabbi,

I am a very active 75-year-old woman who looks like she is 60 (so I have been told). I am a professional dog trainer, exercise often, and am very healthy. Am I too old to find a partner just for companionship? One who would like to have a quiet life style, or an active one? I enjoy both.

Thanks for your help,

-Don’t Want to Give Up


Dear Don’t Want to Give Up,

Kol ha-kavod to you for taking care of yourself and appearing younger than you are, and for having interests that keep you active and vital. One of my favorite movies is Cocoon, a film by Ron Howard that stars the late Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn. It is a wonderful story that features a number of individuals later in life who find a special ingredient that enables them to live life to the fullest and to cultivate love and friendship where there had been a void. Each of the characters sees that holding onto life’s vibrancy is essential to their well-being.

Unlike the characters in the film, we don’t need a special ingredient outside of ourselves in order to have love and vivacity. We simply make a choice. I would imagine that somewhere in your path you might have seen a photograph or article of two sweethearts who are 100 years old or close to it, people whose love burns on despite their age. Our desire and need for love and companionship are with us no matter what our age. Many individuals face the loss of a spouse or the breakup of a relationship as they move through life, and find themselves alone for long or short periods of time, but that doesn’t imply that our desire for company and love wanes as we move on in years. We are never too old to find companionship or love, whether it is of the quiet sort or one that is filled with verve.

May your excitement for life open up new doors of relationships for you, adding another dimension of fulfillment to your days.


Rabbi Damsky

To ask Rabbi Damsky a question, email

Rabbi Robin Damsky is the spiritual leader of West Suburban Temple Har Zion in River Forest, IL,, and is co-author of Find Fulfill Flourish, a book to help you find a life of meaning, purpose and fulfillment, at
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