I’ve been contacted by quite a few quasi-singles lately, asking how to create a JDate profile when their current marriage is over, but they’re not legally single yet. “When should I go on JDate?” they ask. “And what should I state as my status?”

There is no one right answer. Some people may be ready to sign up for JDate as soon as they file for divorce because they’ve already accepted their marriage was over long before that. Others may not feel comfortable until their divorce is finalized, which varies depending where you live. Yet, others will feel ready sometime between filing and finalizing their divorce. That is a personal decision.

What to put as your status is another issue as you don’t want to lie, but you also don’t want to give off the wrong impression. If you just filed yesterday, then perhaps “separated” is the right option to choose for now, but if you’re closer to finalizing your divorce, then choose “divorced.”

And remember, you don’t need to mention your divorce at all in your profile, but you should supply some vague details on or before a first date (married 9 years, 2 kids, grew apart, not friendly right now, but you hope it is soon) — and leave the details for when you are further along and dating is turning into something more!

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