Dear Yente,

I just got out of a six-year relationship with a wonderful woman. It’s been hard, but I’ve taken the last six months to recover and think I’m finally ready to start dating again. The only thing is … I don’t know where to begin!

With the best of intentions, my mother suggested I work with a professional matchmaker. It seems like a costly option though when there are so many dating sites and apps to try. What do you think … should I work with a matchmaker? Or should I be my own matchmaker and try online dating?

—New on the Market

Dear New on the Market,

Thank you for your question!

First of all, I think it was incredibly wise of you to take yourself “off the market” for a while to look inward. As has been proven time and time again, true happiness starts with you. Hopefully, you’ve taken the time to meditate, reflect on your previous relationship and ask the important questions: What worked/didn’t work? What made me happy/unhappy? What different things do I want in a new relationship?

Regarding your question about personal matchmakers, my opinion is that they are not necessary. While I appreciate that your mother cares enough to offer you loving advice, we live in a really exciting time where technology can be used for almost all of our needs.

With online dating, while absolutely more cost-effective, YOU are able to be in control of the situation. You are able to follow your own heart and instinct rather than relying on someone else’s. You wouldn’t want a third party telling you what your favorite musician, TV show or restaurant is, right? The choice is YOURS, so cast that net wide! There are plenty of fish in the sea!

Also, don’t rule out the element of surprise. In my experience, the most exciting things that have ever happened or the most exciting people who have ever come into my life have done so when I wasn’t actively seeking them. So while you may be very actively seeking a partner online through the proper sites and apps, keep your eyes, ears and heart open when you’re out and about and don’t be afraid to take a risk and approach someone. You never know!

I hope this was helpful, and I wish you the best of luck. Mazel Tov on your exciting new journey!

All the best,


BenRappaportBEN RAPPAPORT (Perchik): Ben was last seen on Broadway in Picnic with Ellen Burstyn, directed by Sam Gold. His Off-Broadway credits include: Sex Lives Of Our Parents (Second Stage), The Gingerbread House (Rattlestick/stageFARM). Regional: Alex Timbers’ original production of Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson (Williamstown Theatre Festival). On TV, Ben is best known as the star of the NBC series “Outsourced”. He currently appears as Carey Zepps on “The Good Wife”(CBS) and Ollie Parker on “Mr. Robot”(USA). He has also appeared on “Elementary”(CBS). Film credits include: Hope Springs opposite Meryl Streep, Tommy Lee Jones, and Steve Carell. The Brass Teapot, Stereotypically You(upcoming), and lead of the upcoming film Landing Up. Ben trained at Juilliard, where he received the Michel and Suria Saint-Denis Prize for Outstanding Achievement and Leadership in Drama. Come see Perchick shake things up at The Broadway Theatre in Fiddler on the Roof!

  1. I have been on Jdate for a while and while I’m not shy, I don’t know what to say on my initial email to a woman. It seems shallow to comment on their looks, but I “think” some women want to hear it. I have read many profiles and the common denominator is everyone is 1. Looking for love 2. enjoy expensive vacations, fine dinning, etc. 3. want honesty, etc.

    I’m not looking for a relationship with a woman that her best asset are her looks, so what should be my “opening line”?


    1. I just subscribed again a few days ago, and I’ve been sending lots of emails because a lot of people are interesting. Most women won’t respond I don’t think, but I’m starting to admire things I’ve been writing. I’m generally not a great writer to begin with, I can be very redundant and say things that don’t make sense.

      In my emails, I’ve taken advice I’ve read and tried to find a few things from their profile to comment on. Sometimes their profile is just funny, other times it’s something I can totally relate to – I can tell you one thing though, from what I’ve read most of them want more than a “hi”, and they definitely prefer and email over a flirt. If you can’t be original, you’re probably boring and they want nothing to do with that kind of person.

      The bottom line is that your opening line, in my opinion, should be different for each person you email. Even if you say “you seem great” or “you sound like lots of fun” to all of them (I do when I’m really interested), at least make them feel unique.

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