Note: The following first step is for those of you who enjoy the process of utilizing your intuitive guidance, by focusing on the inner voice, rather than the external outcome to lead the way to truth and happiness.
Attracting Your Beshert: First Things First
First we have to heal our inner wounds and become aware of the barriers that keep us from attracting, magnetizing and experiencing our Beshert. We all have blocks that seem to protect us from experiencing the same past hurts over and over again. This protection actually prevents us from having what we really want, someone who is attracted to our authentic true selves. Only then can we relax and be real, knowing that we are being chosen for who we really are! Then we can start dreaming about who/what we really want vs. what we think we should have.
Learning to listen to your heart, not your head is the next step. How many times have you found someone that looked great on paper… but in reality, you really didn’t enjoy being with each other? Then you go out to fancy restaurants, theater, events, and keep so busy you don’t have time to notice that he’s just not that into you. (Or you’re just not that into him). It looks like the perfect match, but you both don’t operate on the same wavelength. Maybe one day you think you have met Prince/Princess Charming and think you need to mold yourself into the right image that you assume he is seeking for his Beshert. Sometimes, we even try to force ourselves (as women, especially) to fit into Cinderella’s shoes, but they are not meant for us. They just don’t fit! And there’s nothing worse than a shoe that doesn’t fit right!
There are hundreds of sources for healing out there, from Oprah to Chopra, with several that are really helpful. Check out, Calling in “The One:” How to Identify and Release Your Hidden Barriers to Love and Become Magnetic to Your Soulmate. My favorite is the free Torah-based energy healing calls and seminars by Chaim David (Eric) Targon, who has spiritually-based Kabbalistic calls that work wonders. His calls are stemming from the heart of the Holy Land and in addition to his free monthly calls he has in depth seminars and ongoing groups.
Create a Wish List
Write it down; watch it happen! Then pay attention to the little miracles in your life that show up. This will keep you open to receiving surprises so when something big happens, (like a great guy/gal) you won’t be blocked.
Spend some time writing down your dream life, as if it was already happening, right now, without editing anything. Then write about your dream mate, getting as clear as possible about him/her. Imagine how you feel being with him/her. Describe them in detail, listing their likes/passions/ special traits, etc. You can start by listing the ‘5 Essentials’ (traits they absolutely must have) and the ‘5 No-No’s’ (totally unacceptable behaviors: e.g. lots of baggage, addictions, criminal record, etc.).
You may decide to do this as a process, and keep adding to it for a couple of weeks. I did this class, “21 Days to Attracting Your Perfect Mate.” Each time something or someone shows up that is attractive to you, add it to your list. It will take time, but it does help in being aware of what feels good and is attractive to YOU. There are so many courses out there now that can help you learn to align yourself with the right vibes for attracting your perfect mate. I am not just talking about the ‘Laws of Attraction.” There are much more specific steps to take. Ariel Ford has written The Soulmate Secret: Discover How YOU Can Manifest Epic Love and Happiness. In addition, a realistic guide to finding and being in a relationship, Wabi Sabi Love, in which she shares the secret of truly great relationships.
I have been writing down my dreams for years. Although they never seem to show up in the exact way that I imagined, like the miracle that I always expect, but they do seem to happen, in subtle ways, all the time. This is where Gratitude plays a big part. I am constantly seeing little surprises showing up. Although my soul mate hasn’t appeared yet, I am always being gifted with little things along the way. For example, I signed up for a class on spiritual principles of Judaism (through the Kabbalah), which was being held on the Internet and found out that the Pal Talk Chat room site only worked with PC’s and of course, I have a MAC. One of the guys in the class mentioned to my teacher that he had access to some PC’s because his friend’s company was switching to a new system and many of these were almost like new. I had never met this guy, he lives in Colorado and he was an Angel. In the end I didn’t even have to pay for the Dell and it turned out to be new! He just decided to send me a gift. I was extremely grateful and sent him a thank you package. We still have never met, but is was a sign to pay attention to miracles. I needed a PC and asked for it, and it showed up at my doorstep. Little miracles like this show up all the time. Another example, I noticed the other day while cleaning out the pile of books stored under my bed, that I did a “treasure map” drawing for one of my personal growth seminars. I noticed that some of the things I had sketched, like writing reviews of luxury spas, and resorts were now a steady part of my life. (I also had a little symbol of my laptop on there). I put myself in the center, standing next to a ‘V-Bar” shaped guy (you know the type, with broad shoulders and a trim waist) and he was holding me close to him. Surrounding us, around the center were all the symbols of the life of my dreams, including financial abundance, health, natural beauty and a lovely home that we create together somewhere near the ocean or a resort-like environment. I also had a reference to being a “Boomer Babe’ spokesperson and writing a syndicated column. So far, I am writing a book, doing the reviews and still waiting for the other miracles to show up. I have this little treasure map on an easel at my bedside table. I check it out every day, with just a little glance.
Writing my wishlist, I have changed it throughout the years. What I thought was important in my 30’s is no longer realistic when approaching the ripeness of 60. (60 is the new 40??) What I am seeking now is someone to become ageless together. Someone who enjoys being healthy, fit and has a joie de vivre, perhaps a bon vivant who loves to travel, enjoys simple pleasures and we both have been-there-done-that so it’s more about the little things that count. Just being comfortable together, living with passion and sharing our dreams together. We are not so much planning a future, because the future is NOW and each moment is a treasure, especially together. We have gratitude for each other and know how precious our lives are, especially since we have lived through most of the trials and tribulations and now are ready to stop and smell the roses. At a certain age, there is no more striving and fighting, we know ourselves and are not into blaming others. We know how special it is to have found the one. Living life to the fullest, focused on mutual love, respect and integrity is more important than what kind of car, job, body type or hair color.
Being in love with life, health and wellness, as well as spiritual pursuits (Judaism), these are at at the top of my list now. Do you know what your wish list will be? Write it down and see what miracles appear!