It is always difficult to cope with the end of something that you don’t want to end, no matter how much you agree with, or understand, why it’s happening. Break ups, signaling the end of relationships, are strong examples of this idea even if they are completely mutual and amicable for both parties.

When something that you invest time and energy in comes to a close you are naturally going to think about all the things that led to that point, and what you could have done differently along the way. Obviously, in the time after the situation ends you are going to gain better perspective on it, though this sentiment doesn’t offer much consolation in the wake of the negative feelings one endures during and immediately after.

Last night a woman, whom I had been dating for a couple of months, and I broke up and even though it was completely mutual, and we headed into the conversation thinking the same thing, it still didn’t feel good afterward. I had called her on my way home from work to express my feelings about how, even though we had fun together, our schedules were very conflicting and it was too hard to make plans and grow the relationship.

She ended up calling me back a little while later and therefore got to express that point first, but I completely agreed and we had small talked for a few minutes before wishing each other the best and getting off the phone. In the minutes immediately following, however, I could feel my mood begin to turn and my demeanor shift toward one that was more quiet and sullen. In the end it wasn’t that I was crushed by the fact that we had decided not to see each other anymore, but rather that I enjoy the feeling of having someone and being in a relationship, which is a feeling I have no idea of knowing when I’ll experience it again.