Being alone does not mean you’re lonely, and being lonely doesn’t mean you’re automatically alone! Too many people equate being single with being lonely. In fact, being alone can actually be a very empowering and happy state. Some people don’t long to date or couple up, but even if you’re like me and would like to meet the right partner, having some solo time can help you become the very best partner you can be for that right match!
1. You Can Be Lonely Among People
Just because someone is part of a couple, that does not mean that are part of a happy couple. People can be lonely and feel isolated even when they’re in crowds. The reality is it’s not the people in your life that make you lonely or not, it’s the connections. If you have strong connections to your partner and loved ones, you won’t feel lonely; but if you have weak connections, you will.
2. Sometimes People Choose to Be Alone
People choose to be alone and this doesn’t mean they’re lonely. There are many good reasons to purposefully be alone. You may like being single. You may be recuperating from a breakup. You may be using your alone time to work towards personal or career goals.
3. Lonely Is A State Of Being, Not Status
We all feel lonely at times. Our partners may not completely understand something we are going through. We may be struggling to find suitable dates. We may feel isolated from our families.
Whether you are married, divorced, single and dating, single and not dating, etc., being lonely is a state of being; it’s not your status because it can happen to anyone regardless of whether they’re in a relationship.
So, if you are single and feel lonely, don’t feel as if you are the only one. We have all felt this way in our lives. It will pass.
4. Being Alone Can Be Hugely Productive
Having time on your hands to devote to a specific goal or project is really a great thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s a DIY house renovation, a fitness goal, a financial goal or a career goal, but being alone and focusing on achieving it will make you a happier and “fuller” person. When you are happier and “fuller” on your own, you then become a stronger and better person for a partnership down the line.
Consider your alone time as “farming time.” You are sowing the seeds of independence and character in order to have strong roots and be part of an amazing partnership one day!
5. Being Single Doesn’t Mean You’re Isolated
I am single and while I would love to meet someone, I am not lonely. I have plenty of people to spend time with. Are they my romantic partners? No, but being alone doesn’t mean you are isolated in a rubber room with padding and restraints! I’ve got family, friends, a daughter and colleagues that I can spend time with. In fact, it’s rare that I feel lonely because I have so many great people around me, and when I am alone, I am productive and focused on my life goals.
6. Lonely People Use Others As Crutches; “Alone” People Do Not
Lonely people use others as crutches; it doesn’t matter if the relationship is toxic or poorly suited to them. They stay in these situations in order to avoid their own feelings.
Confident “alone” people do not date or partner up with people that are bad matches for them. “Alone” people do not pick others just to “have somebody.” They stay single and surround their lives with wonderful loved ones and wait until the right person comes along.
The bottom line is that being alone is not the same as lonely. Don’t ever be ashamed of your happy single status!
You may also be interested in 4 Reasons To Celebrate Your Single Life On Singles Day