Labels are complicated. Almost as complicated as stepping up to the plate to order a half-caf non-fat no whipped decaf concoction from your local barista. As soon as you label something, for example, your less-than-low-maintenance relationship, you find yourself and the beau to be on the fast track to turmoil. Why? Your guess, guys and dolls, is as good as mine. It has you switching up your Facebook status from “married” to “it’s complicated” and those following you on Twitter know the ins and outs of the latest cyber spat. I’m sure you know all too well the price you pay for donning designer dreads simply because of the complimenting label, and a rose by any other name would probably be cheaper. So it seems we’re all stuck between a rock and hard place, and the only way out is down. You found the right significant other to “insert witty banter here,” but as soon as you two exchange virtual vows and make it official on some cyber site, you end up tainting the terrific. Suddenly solitary confinement is anything but a sentence – it’s a vacation destination, and you want a one-way ticket. So, advice? Absolutely not ladies, that would be like the blind leading the blind, and the bruises I’d endure don’t match my couture. All I can say is I’m a happier girl when I scout something at the second-hand store, designer label-less, but with significant character. Vintage is the new, and mystery is the new black. So I’d refrain from the form of slavery known as relationship restrictions and keep it simple. Have fun and don’t worry about what to call it.