Anything good that has or will ever happen to you is hanging by a very thin thread. At any moment, you could die in so many ways, the love of your life could leave you, you could lose all of your wealth, or your internet and cable television could go out yet again because you settled for Comcast. Nothing is for sure except regular urination and death, and even that is not secure if you have something wrong with your bladder or kidneys.

Don’t get too comfortable. I know this and am never comfortable. No matter how good my life seemingly gets, in the back of my mind I know I could lose it all in an instant. Yes, it helps me take nothing for granted, but it also takes up the majority of the hours in the day. Is it worth it? Probably not. Can I help it? I cannot. Will we all eventually die anyway? Yes.

Maybe after a certain amount of time with the love of my life, I will realize she’s not going away. Until then, I will continue to experience constant heart palpitations, back sweats, the inability to speak, and a lot of forehead scratching. Maybe there’s a certain amount of time that G-d’s making me live through before I can experience this. There is only so much more I can take.

I shouldn’t complain, though. Life is good. I have the best girlfriend of all time, a great job, and Tums I haven’t had to use in over a year. I have to lay down, though.