Dear Tamar,

I have a serious question. I’m a massage therapist. I also work in retail. I have found that several guys just want to date me because they are hoping for a free back massage. How do I tactfully let them know I don’t give free massages? And how can I tell when a guy is just using me for a free massage or if he is interested in getting to know me the person? Should I list my retail job instead of my massage business?

Dear Career Conundrum,

Your instincts are right: posting your occupation in massage therapy is unfortunately giving off the wrong signals. You don’t need to list details regarding your occupation, simply put “retail” to cover your retail job or “small business owner” to cover your massage therapy business, or better yet, both. On the 1st date you can expand upon this as conversation flows naturally. I would even let the date know about your issues with listing “massage therapy” and gauge his response. A little eyebrow raise and cheesy response is just harmless flirting, but if he keeps pushing for a massage then you’ll have your answer and can weed out the users. Good luck!