Chemistry with another person has to do with you. The degree to which you feel a connection with Mr. or Ms. Right has a lot to do with how comfortable you are displaying the real you at the time. Ever notice that how you feel about yourself changes in relation to whom you happen to be communicating with? Even if you’re talking to their phones!

I can make two consecutive calls to two different people who aren’t home, each of whom has the same voicemail secretary. During my first message, I’m a more stilted Andy – a Stepford friend. The disconnect I imagine with the person I called, however subtle, is the same disconnect I’m feeling with myself as I leave a message. It’s a natural outgrowth of the chemistry of our relationship.

But during the second message, I’m looser. It’s the same voicemail secretary, save for a different set of numbers she’s parroting back. (This woman gets around.) But, I’m more comfortable with the sound of my voice, because it’s closer to the real me. I like the real me more, because I suspect the other person has come to accept and like the real me! Okay, maybe not the 100% real me. If I let him out, nobody would ever return my calls. Just kidding, cyber universe that may include Ms. Right out there! And if you are out there, the unstilted Andy looks forward to calling you sometime.

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