There are cures for a lot of things. The common cold, boredom, the inability to play the piano. However, there is no cure for yourself. No matter how much you change, your core remains the same. If you’re an asshole, you’re always going to be an asshole. It doesn’t matter how friendly you are to that guy over the counter, or how may hours you spend volunteering at a retirement community. Eventually you’re going to strangle a geriatric.

So why do people try to change themselves? They do so to make other people think that they’re something other than they actually are. How do you get a girl that exclusively dates horseback riders? You exclusively wear a standard jockey uniform all of the time. You’re not a jockey. You know that. But once that uniform comes on, she will think that you are. Because that’s what jockeys do. They wear jockey uniforms. Always.

Today, at first glance, I’m pretty laid-back. I’m calm and soft-spoken. But that’s not who I really am. I’m really loud, reactive, and jittery. I want to crassly talk over you and and try to be charming in a horrible way. However, now, I am equally not charming in a slightly different horrible way. I think it’s good, though. I’d rather pretend to be a likable guy than not pretend to be a horrible guy. Any likable guy that you meet is probably at least somewhat horrible on the inside. He’s probably stolen something significant at some point in his life or injured a small child. He’s got secrets. And his niceties cover this up really well.

There is no cure for yourself, there is only your mask.