So, you two broke up and it was devastating. It seemed like you’d never get over it. The end was so painful, but now, you feel like you might be ready to start looking again. But are you truly ready to date?
We’ve all heard of rebound relationships, and none of us wants to be a part of that mess! So, how do you avoid rushing in too soon and hurting yourself (or even hurting someone else?? How do you know that your heart is completely and utterly free to belong to someone else again?
These five signs are good indicators that it’s go-go-GO time when it comes to dating again after a really hard breakup.
1. You’ve Cut The Comparisons
We’ve all sat and compared someone to an ex, but when you stop mentally stacking people up trait by trait against your last love, you are ready to be back in the game again!
If instead, you find yourself literally keeping score with a date and a past partner, you need to retreat from dating for a while still. If you can’t judge someone based solely on whom he or she is rather than measuring the person up to a former significant other, it is doomed for failure.
2. You Are Present On Your Date
“What do you mean, Laura, by ‘present’? Of course I’m present. I show up, don’t I?”
What I mean by being present is that you are actively listening to what your date says. That also means you’re not thinking about your ex or zoning out during the date. It’s not unusual for someone to show up to a date and then think, “Maybe I am not ready after all,” and then mentally back out of the conversation.
If you are present, listening and trying to learn more about this person, that’s a good sign.
3. Your Cup Is Full
Are you happy with you? Or are you still feeling low about yourself after the breakup? Do you feel confident in what you have to offer? Or do you spend a lot of time beating yourself up about the breakup?
In order to date and meet someone new, you have to like who you are first. How can you possibly woo a potential partner if you’re not even sold on yourself? Don’t count on this new date to bring you happiness; your cup should already be full when you start to date again.
4. You Aren’t Obsessed Over A List
The list I’m referring to here is the one full of so-called “must-haves” that range from actually important stuff to trivial crap you really shouldn’t have on that list.
Yes, we all have deal-breakers, and there should be some traits and values you seek in a partner. But when your list starts to include hair color, height, a certain type of job, etc. … it’s a sign that you are definitely not ready to date after a breakup.
5. You Aren’t Involved With An Ex
If you’re still talking and going back and forth with an ex, guess what?
You’re not ready! You can’t start something fresh with a new person when you’ve still got your hands dipped into the old relationship.
It’s not rocket science; you’ll know in your heart of hearts if you’re still clinging to hope or madly in love with an ex. If that’s you, please … stay out of the dating pond until you’re really ready to move on. Otherwise, you’ll only create a lot of casualties and one of them may end up being your very own heart getting broken once again.
You may also be interested in 4 Steps For Getting Back In The Dating Game