Dear Gems from Jen,

A bit curious on your thoughts about dating 101.  I recently had two great dates with someone I met on JDate. As far as I could gather, it was mutually enjoyable for both of us. There were numerous calls back and forth and then another date was set.  We spoke that afternoon and he said that he was really looking forward to seeing me that night and that we had a plan and would speak after he was done spending the afternoon with his kids. To this day, I have never heard from him. I even went as far as leaving a message making sure he was ok. I also said that if he wasn’t comfortable calling, I would appreciate an email just letting me know what happened and to let me know if I said anything that made him abruptly change his mind.  Still no response.  It’s obvious that there will be no communication. So, I am curious to hear what you think about this situation. Do you feel this is common to internet dating? I’m just a bit confused.

Dear Dating 101,

I’m not so sure this is just common to internet dating. This guy went past the internet and into the “real world.”  My thinking went straight to making sure this guy was alright.  It seems strange that you had been on two dates and had plans for another that very evening. Has he logged into his profile since you last spoke with him? If he has then the safety concern is unwarranted and now it is time to move into reality.

Let’s give this the worst case scenario for your situation. This is a man who you had two dates with and a third planned. He never returned calls or emails. My opinion, he is someone to run from and fast. He obviously has something that he is not sharing with you, not to mention the fact he lacks manners. Whether or not he was interested is beside the point at this time.  An explanation to his absence would have been the right thing for him to have done.

I would not accept phone calls or emails from him if, and when, he decides to get in touch with you. The only excuse that would be justified would be a medical crisis or family emergency.  Other than that he could have picked up a phone, sent a text message, or written an email. We all deserve to be treated in a decent manner and accepting anything less can create resentment and anger. Don’t give up the JDate search.  There are a lot of guys out there who are willing to treat you with the courtesy we all deserve.

 Gems from Jen