Dear Gems from Jen,

I have been seeing someone for over two months. He was flirty and intimate at the beginning. We communicate nearly every day, but only see each other every couple of weeks due to his intense work situation. He has been sick, as well as out of town on business. He is highly complementary and says he has never met anyone like me…and that he is very appreciative of how communicative I am.

He is cautious and has slowed down the physical intimacy and is no longer flirty via email.  He says everything in life is timing. He has NOT said that this is not working or that he just wants to be friends…he just talks about timing and being cautious. Building his business back to its former self is his biggest concern at the moment. I believe that we do have the basis for a relationship. How should I proceed with him? It is uncomfortable for me to date since I like him so much, but maybe I should?

Thanks for your help.

Dear Dating and Timing,

It sounds to me as if you are getting mixed messages from this guy. Always keep in mind that actions speak louder than words. Anybody can say anything, but it is the actions that truly count. He has told you everything in life comes down to timing. He has backed off, discussed caution, and turned his focus to work. I understand what it is like to have feelings for someone and not really wanting to date, however this relationship does not sound exclusive at the present moment. There are no guarantees in life. Don’t put all of your hopes onto this particular guy. Enjoy yourself and continue dating. Spending time waiting for him to move forward with you is no way to live. He might surprise you in the future, but in the mean time, consider your wants and needs and don’t settle for someone who isn’t as present in your life as you would like.

Gems from Jen