Want to make a great first impression on that cute guy who finally asked you out? Well, keep in mind that men are more observant than you think!
Do Not…
1. Look at Your B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend)
a. I, yes I, will feel personally insulted if you are checking your phone and not giving the man you are with the time of day. He will feel below sea level if you give more attention to a device than him.
b. EXCEPTION: If you are getting multiple vibrations from your pocket or purse because your ringer is not on, then YOU MUST ALSO LET HIM KNOW WHY you have to take that electronic device out.
i. “So sorry, but it might be an emergency!” is acceptable.
2. Dress Like It’s Fashion Week
a. The fanciest he is dressing is slacks and a button-down (maybe a nice vest/jacket). So, unless he’s taking you to a wedding (side note: never go to a wedding as a first date… unless you just want that food and drank), dressing in a fancy dress will just make both him and you uncomfortable.
b. EXCEPTION: If he’s invited you to a real fancy event, and you can assume he will be looking dapper, you should go all-out on your outfit. USE GOOD JUDGEMENT. ASK A FRIEND IF NEED BE!
3. Assume He Is Treating You
a. Guys love to feel chivalrous, but they also hate feeling taken advantage of. Let him grab his wallet first and then make a move for your own. The guy will, eight times out of ten, wave off your money, or card and give you that “I’m a manly man” smile, that should melt your heart, because they feel special for being able to treat you.
b. If you, however, want to pay for your half, by all means, you should be prepared to lay down that cash.
c. Note: Don’t ever make a move for your wallet, and then pull back before he wards you off. That’s an Ultimate No-No! He will immediately pick up an “I’m being used” vibe from you and be turned off.
4. Interview Him!
a. First dates are a two-way interview! Prepare your answers as well as your questions! You should know the drill, ladies!
i. “Where do you work?”
ii. “Have any hobbies?”
b. Even the guy who enjoys talking about himself can’t go on and on for an extended period of time. He needs a lapse of time to look at your eyes and hear all about you!
c. NO EXCEPTIONS!
5. Share a Bed That Night
a. You are not to have sex on any first date. That is to be preserved for the honeymoon dating phase or, and bear with me, till marriage.
b. EXCEPTION: If you know for sure, and I mean for sure, that a relationship with him would never come to fruition and you have an itch that you need scratched… go for it. However, you have to let him know the ground rules beforehand!
6. Just Be You… Even If You’re ‘The Girl from that Chick-Flick.’
a. The absolute worst thing you can do is be nervous about representing who you truly are, because it will only lead to problems down the line.
b. Deception is frowned upon by males. You know the saying, “Bros before hos?” Well, it applies to you as well. Deceiving your Bro is like breaking one of the Ten Commandments, and since you are trying to basically become a female version of this guy’s Bro, be yourself. If the “Bro-lationship” is meant to be, it will be because you represented your true self.
c. To that end, don’t order a salad if you don’t like eating leaves on a dinner date (which I am not a fan of as a first date to begin with). Order what you would have if you were going to dinner with your best friend, because that level of realism will be noticed and appreciated by the guy, who is supposed to be becoming your best friend.
d. NO EXCEPTIONS!
David Jacobowitz is JMag’s newest contributor. He graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in History at UC Berkeley and works as a Marketing Development Associate for JDate.
This may be one of the most condescending articles I’ve ever read. The only worthwhile piece of advice in here was “just be you”…although even that was delivered in a backhanded way. Every person is different, therefore every date is different. There are no hard and fast rules about how someone should always act on a date, and telling women (or men, for that matter) otherwise continues to feed into dating anxiety.
I agree with Debbie. This article is so condescending. I am not looking to become the female version of anyone’s “bro”. And as for sexuality……..I enter into that as it seems right for me….not to avoid the relationship never coming to fruition. Wait until marriage???? Are you kidding me?
Written by a gentleman who likely wasn’t fortunate enough to have sisters.
My Top Ten Survival Tips for Online Dating:
1. Borrow a fistful of wit from Jo Brand.
2. Mimic the indefatigable optimism of Auntie Mame.
3. Take inspiration from Helen Keller’s indomitable tenacity.
4. Master the quiet patience of the Dalai Lama.
5. Practice the single mindedness of Marie Curie
6. Emulate the philanthropy of Oprah Winfrey.
7. Siphon off inspiration from Hillary Clinton’s political acumen.
8. Strive for the literary talent of Toni Morrison.
9. Harness the wisdom of Martin Luther King Jr.
10. Develop the skin of a rhinoceros.
Most of us are here because we’re hungry for intimate love and companionship. Folks who approach romantic love with a specific menu in mind are destined to be disappointed. You can’t always get a great pizza at a taco bar, but that doesn’t mean the tacos aren’t superb. As the immortal Auntie Mame proclaimed, “Life’s a banquet table and most poor suckers are starving to death.”
Thanks Marsha. I had to laugh whenI read your post as it was sooo accurate! Very impressive how you found the right words and phrases to dscribe the experience of online dating!
Love this GIF.
Whatever – yes, condescending…I thought we were grownups with common
sense and could make our own decisions.
Oh, and if he asks – he pays. What if he sees you take out your wallet and doesn’t take out his? Grow up!
I like salad. So am I supposed to start eating like the bro he doesn’t want his gal to be? Because I have a brother and male friends. That would be a really gross date, especially if I also carry over that type of conversation. you gents talk about some sick things. And no fashionistas?? Really? Not all men are alike, and ladies like to look good. If you’re intimidated, don’t dress like slobs. That’s a major turnoff. Or should we start wearing our grunge to a date? Let’s not start destroying the basics of romance, please. Not saying that we have all the answers, since there might be a reason why we’re on an online dating site, but the advice given does not fit all.
A “recent” graduate of UC Berkeley? At probably age 22, not an indication he has much post-academic real world experience in relationships or dating and, more to the point, in providing advice from a wealth of knowledge. And besides, how does a history degree lend any perspective to expertise in such matters. It just clearly illustrates that so-called bastions of academia like Berkeley, Stanford and the Ivy League don’t have all the answers. I’ve got an M.B.A. and B. S. in journalism and I would never purport to use either as a basis for offering dating advice even though I’ve had classes in marketing and am a published writer. I’ve known Harvard alumni I didn’t consider to be more intelligent. In fact, I would call a couple of them “nuts,” and one possessed a degree in clinical psychology. Go figure!