Before you know it, it’ll be summer rerun season again. But when it comes to first dates, I always feel like it’s rerun season.

That’s because it’s all too tempting to reuse at least some of the same interesting anecdotes you hoped were interesting on the last first date you used them on. It must be how an author feels on a book tour, doing his best to inject freshness in a story he’s relayed countless times before. Or Broadway performers. They have to repeat the same words at least eight times a week! Like Speed Dating stretched out.

Those dolls that speak when you pull the ring? First daters need rings. Pull. “No brothers. Just a twin sister. We stopped wearing the same outfits last week.” Pull. “I’ve been to Paris twice, for free. Thanks to a game show, and a talk show I worked on.” Pull. “I once arranged a bogus meeting with Lorne Michaels at Saturday Night Live.”

Don’t forget to tip your waitress. I’ll be here all week.

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