Dear Tamar,

I am a 65-year-old widower and recently had instant chemistry with a woman. Within days, we felt like our relationship was a comfortable old shoe. The relationship grew quickly – she told me to slow down, but I didn’t. After a few weeks and a few warnings, she terminated the relationship by email. She refuses to talk or give it another try. How can I woo her back?



Dear Burned,

I suggest contacting her the same way she broke off the relationship – via email. But first, make sure you truly comprehend what happened to bring an end to the relationship and take ownership of it. It seems from your letter like you understand that she asked you to slow down a number of times and that you didn’t listen, but don’t make excuses to her as to why you didn’t listen.

This letter needs to be about all the amazing things you like about her and how she makes you feel and how you hope to make her feel. Don’t make it all about you; if you want her back, then it has to be about her – you already made it about you when you ignored her warnings and kept moving quickly when she wanted to slow down. You need to show her that you now understand where she’s coming from and offer to date her rather than jump back into a serious relationship. She may not want to and you will have to accept that, but it’s worth a try!


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