Dear Tamar,

I need help with the “body style” section of my profile and how it relates to my photos. I don’t feel like I fit into any of the categories. Well, I do, but not without dates possibly feeling disappointment based on what their expectations are of what “voluptuous” or “athletic/fit” means. I’m curvy but fit. I have the stereotypical Jewish girl big boobs and certain clothing and photos can make me look heavy when I’m not.

What’s a curvy Jew to do?

—Curvy Girl


Dear Curvy Girl,

I have sincere empathy for you as I grappled with this same predicament back in my dating days. So here are a few tried and true pieces of advice I can give you:

  • Select “average/medium build” as your body style because you’re right: the other options come with preconceived notions so it’s better to stay safe in the most general of categories and then your dates will be happily surprised by your curves!
  • Your main profile photo needs to be of your face and not include your body (crop at the neck up). That said, in your full body photo you MUST wear clothing that shows what your body looks like. That means form-fitting clothing to show your boobs are big but the rest of you isn’t. Not slutty, but not misleading either.
  • Wear a similar outfit on your first date. Not too sexy, but the right amount of cling and skin to show off your curves without taking away too much attention away from making eye contact and focusing on the conversation.
  • Feel confident that your body is awesome and that the right guy will love it!


For solutions to any dating dilemma, submit your questions to Dear Tamar online.


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