I can’t watch the presidential debate tonight because Comcast has an ‘outage’. If you have never heard of Comcast, please remain in your cave of ignorant bliss. If you have never heard of an ‘outage’, then you have probably also never heard of Comcast, and should still stay in your cave.

I was debating about whether or not to write a post about a debate that I can’t watch, while Comcast was simultaneously debating with itself how angry it can make its customers before the customers debate whether or not to either sign up for AT&T instead or have a classic first world panic attack because they can’t watch their television for one evening in their air-conditioned homes, while on full stomachs. I wanted to write about the debate while watching it even though I don’t really care much about politics anymore. I understand caring about issues, but ‘politics’ and ‘issues’ are two completely separate things, and are not affected by each other. Policy change is such a slow, tedious process, that no matter who gets elected, the same changes will eventually happen over a long period of time due to the changing nature of society itself, not one person in power for four years. No matter who gets elected, people will still hate minorities, I will still have to get up every morning at 6 am, and we will all still eventually die.

I stopped caring about politics when I stopped caring about people who care about politics. They’re mostly self-serving. That’s not to say I’m not. I love serving myself. I do so many things for myself. However, while around others, I pretend to be selfless. Oprah once said that there’s a thin line between being nice and a pushover. That was the moment I realized that I wasn’t actually nice. That was also the moment I realized that I spend every afternoon sitting by myself watching Oprah.

So now I can’t write about the debate, which is okay, because I don’t care at all. Romney said something, and then Obama argued with that thing, and then the moderator said he was over his time limit, but then Obama kept talking, anyway. Then Romney started talking, and the moderator said it wasn’t his turn, but then Romney argued that it’s only fair because Obama went over his time limit. Then news people analyzed how angry Romney was the whole time because his brow was furrowed for like five seconds. Also, they noticed that Obama seemed way too arrogant because he referred to Romney as ‘My Opponent’ instead of ‘Mitt Romney’. Then it all became irrelevant when the world ended in three months.