Single life isn’t always easy.
Being ghosted by dates, interpreting vague text messages, getting asked perverted questions before you’ve even gotten to say hello … it’s rough out there at times.
But if love were so easy to find, it wouldn’t be all that special, now would it? This doesn’t mean that a good relationship should be difficult to start or maintain. It just means that real love isn’t something you can find every day just waiting at your feet. It comes when it comes, are trying to force it just won’t work. So if you’re a single Jewish person dating and looking for love, don’t make these desperate moves in an attempt to find Mrs. or Mr. Right.
1. Downplaying What You’ve Got
This tends to be more a female than a male issue, but no matter what the circumstances, don’t downplay your achievements or what you have to bring to the table simply to make another partner feel comfortable. This isn’t to say you should show up on date number one with your Harvard diploma and spend an hour or two bragging about all your travels and life goals. But you should never ever feel like you have to diminish your light, spirit or accomplishments in order to make that person feel secure.
Let’s face it, ladies – men can get rather intimidated by a successful woman. He’s not the right partner if he won’t allow you to shine because it makes him feel small! And for the men, if your lady is constantly jealous or asking you to step away from your life dreams or put them on the back burner to make herself feel good, walk away!
2. Marrying Someone Just To Please Your Parents
Most likely, you’re looking for a Jewish life partner, but there has to be more to the picture than just shared Jewish identity in order for a relationship to work. I have had friends marry Jewish solely to please their parents, and what happened?
Character, compatibility, life goals – all of these must be in line with each other. It can’t just be about tribal heritage or someone seems like what your Jewish parents want for you. At the end of the day, you need to live with the person … not your parents.
3. Compromising When It Comes To Faith
I am not religious at all, but for those of you who are, don’t downplay what observing the faith means to you in order to secure a partner. It will only blow up in your face later on down the line, especially if the two of you get married and start to raise children together. What seems like a small difference at first can blossom into a major issue in your relationship. Be honest with partners about where religion falls – or doesn’t fall – in list of priorities and values from the get-go to avoid problems later on..
It’s tempting to fall into these traps, especially when you’re sick of being single. But holding out for the right person is worth it.