Mystery and Love_Header

Love is all about authenticity, so it may seem a bit contradictory to be talking about mystery as an asset in relationships. However, as the founder of Love Intelligence, 5 Keys to Find Love, I’ve found that mystery is vital in any relationship… and it can be linked to authenticity.

What is Mystery?

The word mystery has more than just one meaning. It can be defined as “what’s unknown, unexplainable or secret.” However, it can also mean “a set of religious practices and doctrines that are only revealed to those who are enlightened.” It is attached to a religious dogma that reason cannot access. These definitions give us the three main characteristics of mystery: secret, sacred, and irrational. By keeping a bit of mystery about yourself, you will pique other people’s curiosity… and that’s exactly why it’s necessary to keep a part of mystery when you meet new people.

What Makes it Necessary?

The seduction process is often associated with mystery. It is linked to discovering. Piquing curiosity while keeping a part of mystery has always been essential to seduction. Curiosity will encourage the other person to want to get to know you better, and to give you attention. When you introduce yourself as a stranger, you instantly create a desire in the other person to want to know more about you. I suggest you don’t reveal everything about yourself at once. If you do, the other person won’t have anything left to discover. Some people will tell you this is manipulation, but it’s all about differentiating between what someone needs to know right now, and what will make for interesting conversation on a second or third date.

You can learn more about how to reveal your true self with step 3 of the 5 Key Method to Find Love.

How Can You Remain Sincere, Yet Mysterious?

It is important to be true to yourself – no matter what – while sharing what makes you special, little by little. Take your time to reveal what needs to be known about yourself, that way you also give the other person enough time to analyze all the information you’re giving them. Mystery is not only about what you say about yourself, but it’s also about the way you say it, by taking some time rather than saying it all at once. Plus, revealing your true self, what makes you who you are, will create intimacy between you both. And, it is intimacy that eventually leads you to real love as that is what connects two people.

How & What to Reveal

If you show too much of yourself, or not enough, compared to what you really want to show, then you will feel you’re not being yourself. This can make you and your partner ill at ease. They may feel you’re holding back and not being honest. It is important that you listen to the other person while they’re revealing themselves with words and gestures, to respect the rhythm they use to reveal themselves, so things aren’t rushed. You have to look for the right moment to say something moving or make a tender gesture.

The Body Can Tell More Than Words

Emotions and feelings can be read on our face; and those facial expressions, along with body language, can represent up to 60% of judgments on sympathy. During the first moments of meeting someone new, we see the person in their entire self, through our senses. That’s why the body speaks more than what you could say about yourself with words. I suggest you try and become more aware of your body and gestures, to turn them into assets during the seduction process. And – most importantly – don’t hesitate to smile!

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Florence Escaravage was born in Paris and lives there today with her husband and 3 kids, after living in the United States along the way. She founded Love Intelligence® in 2007 after spending two years consulting with an expert committee of leading psychologists, effectively professionalizing the sector by being the first (and only) love coach to create and implement an internationally recognized certification.
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