Some people attract drama into their lives like a magnet, while some people deflect it like a tinfoil sunshade and others try to avoid it like the plague.

I had a boyfriend who had an ex-girlfriend who wasn’t out of the picture. She purposely tried to cause drama to try and break us up. I could have fed into the drama by telling my boyfriend to stop talking to his ex and cut her off, but I chose to take a different path. I ignored it. Drama is like a fire: It needs oxygen to make it grow, but if you don’t feed it then it dies. My boyfriend respected me for being the better person and saw the ex for what she was and cut her off on his own. Needless to say, as soon as we broke-up the ex swooped back in on her prey, but during the relationship I was able to dispel the drama by rising above it.

If there’s drama early on, it may be a red flag. If one or both of you gets sucked in to the drama, it may be a red flag. If you don’t agree about what is drama or how to deal with it, it may also be a red flag. These are not red flags to ignore. Not only that, but you need be aware of these red flags so that you don’t consciously or subconsciously overlook them because of hope for the relationship. It doesn’t mean the relationship is necessarily doomed, but it does mean that you need to have a talk. People that are drama magnets and thrive off of it probably won’t mesh well with a person who avoids it and doesn’t flame the fire.

People create drama or put themselves in the midst of drama usually because they’re either bored, immature or both. Hopefully, a healthy and exciting romantic relationship will be enough to quell the urge for hullabaloo. Eventually, sitting at home with your significant other watching television on the couch while cuddling will be much more enjoyable and productive than spending your time on the phone instigating drama, arguing about nonsense and ignoring your mate.