Dear Tamar,

I’d love some help with my profile. Lots of guys look, but rarely contact me. And, the ones who do contact me are usually far away or obviously didn’t really read the profile. I’ve been out of the dating world for almost 30 years and could sure use the help.


-New on JDate


Dear New on JDate,

I’m so glad you reached out! Divorcees and widows who didn’t have JDate their first time around definitely have some adjusting to do when it comes to dating with technology this time around!

Let’s start:

First off, I don’t like profile names that are a jumble of letters and/or numbers. Rather than the initials you used, try to combine your name with something else that describes you — whether it be your city, job, physical description, or a favorite hobby.

Second, you need more photos. The first one is cute, but should be a supplementary photo rather than your main picture. The second one, a selfie, should be replaced. And while you’re at it, add a full body as well as another pic showing you being social or active. Your main pic should be a more lively and engaging headshot.

As for your paragraphs, I think you did a nice job writing them. I don’t prefer people putting “separated,” but you do explain it well. Since you’re having problems getting the dates you want then try changing it to “divorced” and simply mentioning that you were married 25 years and once you’re on a date you can explain more.

I would also delete the “addendum” part, for a few reasons. One, you put “after two weeks on JDate” and that timeframe will change with every coming week. Second, rather than writing that in your profile you can simply reply to the men that are contacting you from across the country: let them know you’re flattered, but aren’t interested in long distance.

Lastly, I would shift your age range. As a woman in her mid-50’s I think your age range should be 50-65 rather than 45-60.

  1. Can I get an evaluation of my profile like this one? Not only don’t the guys write, I don’t think they even “look!” I’m old fashioned, and prefer to be sought rather that be the seeker, but I think men who use online dating would be flattered if a woman reaches out to them, so I have written to some whose photos and profiles are attractive to me, but they NEVER even give me the courtesy of a reply! It’s SO frustrating! Thank you

  2. I am having the identical problem as the two above. I am getting very discouraged. I also want to be sought after but no one ever replies or when i flirt and write something real cute they never answer. Can i get someone to look at my profile and see why they never respond. Maybe I am too old to do this. This is a recent picture of me. I don’t have any wrinkles (thank you mother) My friends tell me I’m pretty but i am a widow. Please someone respond to this email.

  3. I am not receiving any interest from men on JDate. I sent out 8 e-cards and not one response. My friend suggested that I change my age on the website and perhaps men would be less reluctant to reach out to me. I am determined to leave my correct age because I wouldn’t want to meet someone that opposed to my age without knowing me. I am pretty, bright, own a business, and happy with my life. What gives? I wanted to suspend my membership for another time but I’m that is not an option.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *