People experience sleepiness every day. While the best solution for sleepiness is sleep, this is not always a viable solution, as you may be at work, and you can’t sleep, because you are an open heart surgeon. I find creative ways to sleep throughout the day when not at home. For example, I’m really well attuned to my daily driving routine. People often use the phrase, ‘I can drive there in my sleep.’ loosely. However, every morning, I drive to work while asleep. Either that or I’m so used to my routine that while I’m awake while driving, I suddenly find myself in my work parking garage without remembering anything since waking up at about 2 am the night before to use the restroom. Most likely, I do not drive while sleeping, because I constantly find myself being alive.

I actually don’t sleep throughout the day. That was just a preface for that hilarious fake anecdote. I’m still on a strict diet throughout the week, and a lot of the time, though I am really tired, my hunger overrides my sleepiness, and I don’t feel the full weight of my fatigue until Friday after my diet is over and I’ve finally eaten a full meal. If you find that you are too tired a lot of the time, simply starve yourself. Once your stomach begins to eat its own lining, you will be in too much pain to realize that you need sleep. Also, you’ll lose some weight. Only five more months until swimsuit season!

Aside from that fact that the modern standards of beauty require a body that is unhealthily skinny, it is not a good idea to starve yourself. I just wanted to make that clear.

Because I am not a big fan of coffee, I sometimes rely on energy shots. Though recent reports indicate that drinks such as 5-hour Energy will kill you, and the fact that it should probably be renamed ‘2-hour Shaking’, I use this sometimes. I don’t care too much about my long-term health, so long as I feel okay now. Who knows? The earth may implode tomorrow, but at least I will be awake, alert, and shaking violently.