Dear Gems from Jen,
Honestly, I find the blind online dating thing to be a little bit overwhelming. Normally, when you meet someone with whom you want to go out with, you come to that decision after a series of meetings, but on JDate the process is much more accelerated.
Each time that I’ve gone out on a date it’s been with a woman who I corresponded with over a few e-mails and who I find attractive from our e-mails and her photos. Each time, the conversation is good – smiling, laughing, no awkward silences – but the end is a bit of mystery. I hardly know the woman, but I want to see her again. If this were someone who I finally asked out after a period of getting to know her, I would definitely kiss her. But in this situation – where we’ve logged only two hours of face time together – I’m a bit perplexed. Do I kiss her? Do we hug? Do I make plans to get together again?
Is this a common reaction to first dates from other JDaters? What do I do? Thanks.
Dear First Date Confusion,
I definitely understand your confusion! Online dating is not the same as meeting in the outside world. However, things can and do progress naturally if the two people involved allow it to. It sounds as if your dates aren’t lasting long enough. Try having dates that last an entire evening. This way you can be sure if you are truly interested.
If you want to see someone again why not just ask her? Kissing and/or hugging at the end of a first date, whether it happens from a JDate meeting or an outside meeting is up to each person and how he/she is feeling. How would you handle it if you met without JDate? Go with your gut and make the decision based on how you are feeling. Don’t rush things, and let what happens come naturally. Think of it this way; meeting online can be a rushed process, but use the first date as just that, a first date.
Gems from Jen