Did you meet a hot Jewish guy and, better yet, score a first date with him? Before you get all doe-eyed and tongue-tied, you might want to consider a few things so you don’t crash and burn with that sexy Jewish dude. First dates are so difficult in many ways; you’re nervous, you’re not sure what to expect and so many “balls” are in the air. On the flip side, first dates are also fun because a they represent possibility, a fresh start and maybe even a chance at love.
That said, you want that first date to go smoothly. So before you meet up for coffee, drinks or dinner, remember to avoid these six first date fails with your Hot Jewish Guy, heretofore known as “HJG.”
1. Tell Him He’s Hot … For A Jewish Guy
Don’t tell him he’s the hottest Jewish guy you’ve met or hot “for a Jewish guy.” It basically implies that, in general, Jews are not attractive people. In my opinion, Jewish men are sexy – period. I have heard this line from the male point of view (“You’re hot for a Jewish woman”), and let me tell you, it’s not something that sets the mood for a good date. Although I’ve heard it more from non-Jews than Jews, when said by a Jewish person, it still sounds anti-Semitic or even self-hating.
2. Ramble On
While some people clam up on a first date due to nerves, others ramble on, unaware of the need to pause the conversation so the other can speak. This means you might feel tempted to brag or go on and on to your HJG about all you’ve done and achieved.
There is no shame in having pride in all you have accomplished in your life. In fact, it should make you feel good about yourself. Therefore, you should certainly tell your HJG what you bring to the table and have done as an individual, but give him a chance to get in some of his “high points” as well. You don’t want it to feel as if you are trying to impress him. Trying too hard is never a good thing. Talk about the things that make you happy and confident, but be sure to leave room for him to share some of his big “wins” and things that make him feel confident, too.
To keep any nervous rambling in check, remind yourself on occasion to (1) breathe and (2) ask yourself if your date has had any time to share or reflect on what you are saying.
3. Keep Mum On Material Items
Don’t talk excessively about your favorite shopping outlets or other things associated with materialism. Unfortunately, people have stereotyped the Jewish gal as a materialistic princess. Ever heard of the term JAP? It’s annoying that the stereotype exists and there is no shame in liking things of good quality, but some men have a tendency to feel as if women are out for a dollar and dinner. Be mindful of what you say regarding money to your HJG.
4. Stay Too Quiet
Saying nothing can make for an excruciating date all around. It’s understandable to clam up when nervous, but if you’re feeling particularly tongue-tied, let your date take the reins for a bit. Ask him questions so that he can talk for a while, giving you room to collect yourself and relax. Hopefully, this will help you feel more comfortable speaking about yourself when it’s your turn.
5. Launch Into The Marriage Bit
The first date is not the time to say how your Jewish parents are just dying for you to get married. If you want to see the HJG again, you really need to squash those overly romantic notions. It’s a first date and a chance to feel each other out – not a chance to nail down wedding vows or high expectations.
6. Mention Your Ex
Hot Jewish guy does not want to know about your ex horror stories. In fact, no guy does. Your past needs to stay in the past and not creep itself in on your present.
This list isn’t about censoring yourself for the sake of the HJG. Rather, it’s about making sure you keep focused on getting to know each other under the best circumstances so that, hopefully, things will continue to go well with the new hottie in your life.
You may also be interested in 5 Ways To Avoid An Awkward First Date