While many men say they can do it in five seconds, statistics show that it takes anywhere between ninety seconds to four minutes for someone to properly size you up. So gentlemen, you better be all buttoned-up and on your toes on that first date. You don’t need to be a Casanova to impress a woman but you should be mindful of the mistakes that can spoil your chances of success.
With this in mind, Single Edition has solicited tips from some of our favorite dating experts, for this list of first-date faux pas that men should avoid.
Christan Hudson, founder of TheSocialMan.com
Being cheap is a deal breaker for most girls. Being boring isn’t very good either. And you don’t want to show too much sexual interest or be too needy. I usually suggest a drinks date. If it’s going really well, let it go to two drinks. But always end it first – especially if you’ve been having fun. Most guys who are on good first dates want to push their luck; if you’re the one who stands apart by ending it first, it’ll keep her wondering what’s up until she hears from you again.
Carole Brody Fleet, author of Widows Wear Stilettos
Talking about yourself too much…There should be a comfortable conversation going on – remember, “conversing” takes two people; “lecturing” takes only one. If you feel like you’re doing most of the talking, your date likely feels the same way. Segue with a smile by saying, “That’s enough about me, let’s talk more about you…” and then follow with a question about them.
Jay Caltado, author of Get Your Girl Back
There are at least 100 mistakes a guy should avoid on a first date, but the top three would have to be: avoid bad grooming/hygiene, trying too hard to impress and being boring. Being well groomed, fun/exciting and having a relaxed, non-needy attitude speaks volumes about you and can make up for many accidental dating blunders.
Ian Coburn, comedian and author of God is a Woman: Dating Disasters
L-I-S-T-E-N and R-E-S-P-O-N-D! When guys first meet a woman, they are often too nervous to listen, let alone respond. As soon as they ask a woman a question, they then think about what they will ask next instead of listening to her response while she is talking. I’ve heard women ask questions and men respond with their own question on a completely different topic, completely ignoring them. Women don’t realize that guys are nervous, especially the guys they really want to date, the nice ones. Many times this can be misinterpreted as being rude and clearly only interested in one thing.
Dr. Paul Dobransky, author of The Masculinity Code
DO treat, but do NOT do an expensive activity. It sets the wrong expectations and you’ll possibly feel “used” when each of you has the voluntary choice to explore whether you both even want a second date. No resentments when there are no over investments.
Ofer Batt, MD and VIjay Chokal, founders of HollywoodWingmen.com
Not taking leadership on a date. The one advantage of paying on a date is that you get to decide where you go. Pick good places to bring your date and remember that she should follow your lead.
Finally, if you want to come across as a true mensch, try to refrain from sneaking peaks over your date’s shoulder no matter how cute the woman at the next table over may be.
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I agree about something not expensive. On a few occassions a woman has insisted on dinner. I blew off a woman who wanted to do dinner, but now regret it since my subsequent dates had been lackluster