Dear Gems from Jen,

I am coming out of an almost 24 year marriage. My husband decided he did not want me/this marriage any longer, Ouch! Anyway, I am beginning to heal. I met a man through online dating and he has been in and out of relationships for awhile, nothing has stuck. We are keeping this at a friendship level so far. He knows I am not ready to give my heart and I want to be aware not to rebound. But, we went out the other night and I wanted to kiss him, but he gently told me no and I respected this. I have never had a real male friend. I am struggling with being attracted to him and wanting to kiss and hold and be held without ruining this friendship we are trying to build.  I am lonely and I am craving being held and kissed and wanted. I can’t tell if he is attracted to me this way or not. It feels like he is and he is respecting our friendship first unless I am totally hallucinating?!

What do I do?

Dear Friendship to More,

It sounds to me as if you might be a bit confused about what it is you are really looking for. On one hand you appear to be enjoying this friendship and on the other you seem to be craving physical intimacy. You are going to need to figure out what it is you truly want from this man.  Is it friendship or romance? Take some time to think about this question. Once you cross the friendship line there is no turning back. Take your time, there is no rush. It appears as if he is respectful of your friendship, so while you are thinking about what it is you really want, enjoy having a new friend!


Gems from Jen