How To Get Your Girlfriend To Stop Gossiping Like A Yenta
Do you have a girlfriend who can’t stop talking … about everyone lse? Being a chatty person is just fine, but when the chattiness turns a little nasty, gossip becomes toxic. And in truth, even gossiping harmlessly or without malicious intent is problematic. Gossip spreads like a disease and can infect couples, friendships, communities and then some.
If your Jewish girlfriend’s yenta act is becoming annoying or harmful, it’s time to tell her to stop once and for all. And though the term is used solely for women, don’t forget Jewish men and well, anyone, can be guilty of being a gossipy yenta. Here’s how to get that gossip to stop without hurting the relationship.
Point It Out
While you should never make a literal checklist of every time your partner messes up, in this case, the matter is different. Every time she opens her mouth to gossip, grab a little sheet of paper and say, “Look at that! Another tally.”
Ask her if she really needs to share what she is about to share. Ask her if telling others this information will bring any good to anyone. When the tally marks get high, show her. Tell her you love her and appreciate her curiosity and desire to be in on “the scoop,” but that gossip is hurtful and causes problems, even when done in a non-malicious way.
Limit Wasted Time
If your girl can’t help but ramble about her neighborhood pals, please remind her that as she reveals these oh-so-important details, she’s wasting time gossiping when the two of you could be talking about something special together.
Tell her every minute spent gossip is another minute you two lost an opportunity to have quality time together. She might just change her tune – at least a little!
Sit Down To Talk
If her gossip has caused problems for you two with family, friends or people in the community, it’s time to have a serious sit down with her. In this case, no jokes or cute tally marks are allowed. She may not want to listen to what you have to say and, in fact, she may want to cut you loose. And if she does, do you really want to be with someone who is not only a troublesome gossip, but also incapable of hearing any criticism?
No. You don’t.
But if she’s open to hearing what you have to say, tell her it’s important to you that she not only apologize and make amends for the harm she has caused, but she needs to work on herself in order for you to stay in the relationship with her.
Show The Detractions
Explain to your favorite girl that gossiping detracts from the stuff you and other people love about her! All the time spent yammering away about others – whether in good or bad spirits – takes away from all the great things about her character. Each minute spent wondering what her neighbors are doing reminds you of her unattractive gossip habit instead of her beauty, her wit, her charm or her kindness.
The reality is that a little bit of gossip can cause a whole lot of hurt. Talk to your girlfriend about this before you become the subject of her chatter.
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