Dear Tamar,

I’ve been on several dates with a really nice guy who seemed very interested in seeing me after the third date. However, I’m been unavailable because I recently had surgery and have yet to see him. I sent him a message for Thanksgiving to which he answered with a question about when I would be visiting his area. I answered the email but not the question since it sounded like a half-hearted effort to see me again. I did see him online tonight and IM’ed him. He missed it but immediately emailed asking how I was and if I was recovered. I feel like I’m grasping straws. What do you think?

Dear Grasping at Straws,

It sounds like the guy likes you and I don’t know why you’re casting doubt. He has attempted to make a third date with you (so he could see you again) but you couldn’t for a very good reason and haven’t rescheduled. He answered your Thanksgiving greeting and asked when you would be near him (so he could see you again) and you ignored it. He emailed you and asked how you are feeling (so he could see you again) and you think you’re grasping at straws. What’s funny is that you have inadvertently played hard to get and it sounds like it’s working because the guy is still interested. Let him know you’re feeling better (if indeed you are) and that you’ll be in his area (even if you aren’t planning on doing so) and allow him to once again ask you out. Accept the date, enjoy yourself, don’t say anything about thinking he wasn’t interested and just see where it goes!