Dear JDate,

cont-mt-helene-eldadHere is how the poem began, read to me as my love proposed on Valentine’s Day — “Queen Helene and the Music Man is how we met, on JDate on the Internet…”

On March 2, 2006, I received my “You Have Mail” email from JDate, letting me know that MusicMan0729 sent me a message. It was almost two weeks before that we actually connected live via instant messenger, and the conversation flowed easily as we found we had a lot in common — including daughters a month apart.

Our first meeting was a week after that, where he and I met over lunch. He arrived with a beautiful bouquet of my favorite daisies, and I found it endearing how shy and nervous he was. I tried hard to break the ice and make him more comfortable as I rambled away. As I drove back to work, I received a text message that said, “I almost proposed.” Our second date was the same evening.

Almost a year later, Music Man surprised me on Valentine’s Day when our waiter delivered my favorite dessert, and sitting on top was the most incredibly perfect diamond engagement ring — just like the one I had tried on while in the mall with his daughter. All eyes were upon us after I loudly exclaimed, “Oh my G-d!” and he got down on one knee and read a poem, ending with “will you marry me?” I said yes.

Here is how the poem began: “Queen Helene and the Music Man is how we met, on JDate on the Internet…”

We’re looking forward to becoming one family with our 11-year-old daughters and are planning to wed in spring 2008.

Tips for other JDaters:

1. Get out of your comfort zone. Consider someone you typically would not consider. Try an activity for a date that you wouldn’t normally do. Have a full-fledged first date rather than just a coffee or drink. Give the nice guy a chance.
2. I was being completely honest from the start. I didn’t hide that I’m overweight, and I made it clear in my closing essay that I wanted a single father who was not just looking for a casual relationship. A man who has no interest in a long-term relationship or woman without a perfect figure will go running.
3. Eldad and I live on different schedules — I was online in the morning, and he was online at night. It took us almost two weeks until we connected online via instant messenger. So, set up a “virtual date” to meet online to let the conversation begin.
4. Eldad was honest when he admitted to not having a couple of the qualities I was looking for, but because he was honest, I kept my mind open.
5. Communication and flexibility have been the biggest keys to making our relationship work. We don’t give up when there’s a problem. We discuss it and decide together on the changes necessary to tackle the problem.
6. It’s NOT always about compromising. When you’re sitting on opposite sides of the couch, you’ll need to meet in the middle to make things work. But from time to time, each of you will need to meet the other on their side of the couch. You should each have a turn at getting your way, if it doesn’t hurt anybody.

Helene & Eldad
Coral Springs, Florida

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