Every year, families go through the debacle of whether or not they should create a family photo holiday card: Is there time? Is it worth the effort? Who should be in it? It’s that last question that can make waves in a singleton’s life. If you’re in a serious relationship, the topic of whether you will still be in a serious relationship next year will cross the minds of everyone involved. Should your significant other’s parents include you in an effort to support the relationship? Or, do they remain realistic and choose to wait until you are engaged before adding you to their annual family photo?

If you’re the “other” being discussed, then keep calm and stay out of the conversation. If your partner wants you in the photo, then he or she will try to make that happen. Don’t take it personally if your partner doesn’t make such an effort — they may feel the relationship is too new or they may have seen enough “others” on cards who didn’t make it to the next holiday season to want to make an issue out of it. If your partner’s parents want you on the card, that’s a good sign. If your partner then vetoes his or her own parents, that’s clearly not a good sign.

Eventually, when you are engaged (and then married and then have kids), there will plenty of holiday cards to be included in.