Though my age is relatively young, the emotional toll brought on by an endless number of first dates and missed opportunities puts my soul at a geriatric age. Throughout this journey, I have felt all of the emotions that a jealous, bitter old man with a lifetime of regret has grown to feel. I have felt jealousy of all of the people that find love with the first person they meet immediately after puberty. I have felt anger that I wasn’t born with looks or a specific talent that caters directly to the propagation of females laughing. I have felt remorse that I didn’t utilize my body in the proper way before I started losing (hair, friends, a sex drive).

When it comes down to it, how important is religion when facing a lifetime of loneliness? It seems that the older you get, the less important things become. For example, when you are young, nothing is more important than recess. As you grow older, you find less and less time for physical activity. When you are a kid, sugar is an important content of every meal and snack. As you grow older and diabetes sets in, you are forced to cut out most sugar from your diet. When you are young and idealistic, you know you will end up with somebody who is Jewish. As you grow older, you decide that your spouse doesn’t have to be Jewish, as long as you two raise your children in a Jewish home. As you grow even older, you decide to settle for anybody with whom you can carry on a conversation. As you grow even older, and diabetes and dementia both begin to set in, your only goal is to not die alone.