My matchmaker mom once told me that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I didn’t understand what this meant until a few years ago when someone broke my heart. After what seemed like months and months of crying, I finally understood this saying. I realized that it’s better to have been in love and have your heart broken than to be single and never have experienced a broken heart.

While getting back into the dating game after having your heart broken is really hard, it’s something that must be done. So, here are some tips that helped me get over my broken heart.

1. Confidence Matters

Just because you’re going through a breakup, you can’t forget how fabulous you are. A breakup usually crushes your self-esteem, but you can’t let it. You have to remember what makes you amazing. Tell yourself each day that you’re fantastic, and soon you’ll start to believe it.

2. Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself

Regardless of who broke up with whom, moping doesn’t get you anywhere.

3. Forget The Past

All relationships are great at one point. But yours is over now. So forget about it. Don’t dwell on all of your good memories and try to figure out what went wrong. That won’t do you any good.

4. Shop ‘Til You Drop

A little retail therapy is wonderful. What better way to make yourself feel good than to buy some brand new clothes? A sexy new outfit can be better than a 90-minute massage.

5. Gym Time

When you’re feeling low, the gym is a miracle worker. You’d be surprised how fun getting sweaty can be. Besides, endorphins are like a natural high. So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, spend a few hours in the gym.

6. Party Hardy

Sitting on your couch watching romantic movies is fun – for a week. Trust me. You won’t be able to forget about your ex unless you’re out and about. Having fun with your friends is what you’re supposed to do.

7. Date Up a Storm

Until you meet someone who’s ten times better than your ex, you won’t forget about him. And let’s face it: you aren’t going to meet Mr. Perfect sitting on your couch. Believe me, I’ve been there and Mr. Perfect doesn’t just appear out of thin air. You have to date, date and date some more.

So, now that you know how to forget about your ex, get out there and do it! Remember, regardless of how bad your breakup is, it always gets better.

Carly Spindel is a writer and hopeless romantic. Carly is a world traveler who has lived in Paris and London. She resides in New York and is currently looking for Mr. Right. You can learn more about her at
  1. Break up! Well yes but it’s such a bad term. So cruel. Why not call it
    love challenged.

  2. The problem for most people directly after a break-up is that vacuum of shared activity. So you’ve got to do something. Volunteering (Red Cross, etc.) is something worth trying. The point is to get out there in the world, have your face seen and voice heard, watch and covet others–that’s right, covet. If you want a person, you won’t want to romanticize the past (relationship) so intensely. It’s like OCD. Stop thinking about the past. It’s gone man. Irredeemably. What cannot be changed, cannot be changed. So don’t try an weasel back into your old comfortable routines with your ex as a friend, hoping, pining for more if you’re lucky. Make new routines. See new faces. Hear new voices. Pack up what the break-up taught you (one always learns about Life when in a relationship), and take yourself down Frost’s Road Not Taken, and do it in a yellow wood.

  3. Other synonyms for breakups:

    – love’s labour’s lost
    – turnstyle accident at the “WAYOUT” at Macey’s
    – bad hair day
    – bad hear day (in a retirement residence)
    – bad hear day (in the marriage of two judges)
    – bad hare day. Bad, bad hare! (the pregnancy test came back positive.)
    – sinning is its own reward. Not sinning is its own punishment.
    – living in sin is better than dying in a righteous existence
    – Don’t go, Peter!! But if you must, then please take me along with you.

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