The elusive Homing Pigeon is a man who reeks of wanting to get married. He can be spotted from a mile away. A light bulb goes off in a man’s mind when he wants to find a wife, and he morphs into a Homing Pigeon. He might suddenly wake up one morning and realize that all of his friends are married, everything is about couples, and he asks if you’d be alright settling in Scarsdale.
The Homing Pigeon is your perfect catch if you’re looking for a serious relationship, and you don’t want to waste months or years of your youth and beauty on a man who is looking to play around. Here are some of my best secrets to spot a Homing Pigeon in disguise that aren’t as obvious or as desperate-sounding, so you can rest assured your man is on the baby track.
1. Has siblings who are married: A man whose younger sibling is married is especially likely to be a Homing Pigeon. When a man has a younger sibling who is married, the man probably feels a lot of pressure to get married himself. When a man has a twin sibling with children…then the heat is really on!
2. Owns a house/condo: “If you build it, [s]he will come.” These wise words inspire many men looking for a wife. The thought process behind buying is that well, I have the house, I just need a girl to put in it.
3. Lives in the suburbs: Since when do playboys live in the suburbs? Unless they’re living with their parents, they’re not the party-type and are most likely not hanging out at the clubs on Saturday nights. In the suburbs, he is surrounded by families, and he’ll wind up with some (good) ideas in his head.
4. Has his career together: Men generally go wife-hunting once their financial life is in order. This primarily means they’re done with school and have a steady income. A man finished with grad school or pursuing a part-time program are especially good targets.
5. Talks about his nieces/nephews: He says how much he loves playing with them and all the gifts he brings them (hopefully that money will be spent on you someday).
6. Plans/pays for dates: Need I say more? If he’s just calling you Saturday night last-minute to grab a drink and maybe get lucky, he’s not looking for a wife, he’s looking for a hooker. Or else you’re the girl he hooks up with two hours after he had dinner with the girl whom he actually sees a future with.
7. Presses to be exclusive within a month: The Homing Pigeon is not gonna play around if he sees a potential future with you. It will be either very obvious that it’s an exclusive relationship or else he will bring it up. Another sign he’s a Homing Pigeon is that he will get annoyed or scared if you are not openly willing to talk about the future. Just don’t f*ck this up…we’ve got a live one here!
These are just my first seven tips to distinguish a Homing Pigeon from the rest of the flock of pigeons nipping at your heels. Stay tuned for clues 8-14 to spot the elusive Homing Pigeon in my next article coming in January.