If you’re anything like me (and if so, God help you), you approach any new JDate with a full and open heart, hoping that at long last, this one could be your Beshert, your soul mate. Of course, as we well know, this isn’t always the case. In fact, it’s usually not the case because soul mates, by their very definition, are something rare, special, elusive, miraculous. There’s a greater chance of Congress passing a piece of Obama legislation than your next date being your soul mate.

Still, being the optimists we are, we never cease hoping and searching. But how do we know when the person sitting across the table from us at Starbucks has that all-important soul mate potential? Honestly, we don’t. We must, then, trust our gut feelings, combined with what we can learn by taking the following multiple-choice quiz I created exclusively for you. Because you’re worth it. Or so I’ve heard. Correct me if I was misinformed.

In any case, take out your pen and prepare to respond honestly as you discover:

How to Tell If Your Date Has Soul Mate Potential!

1. When you first see him…

a)      Your heart skips a beat.

b)      You hear songbirds serenading.

c)       You Google “restraining order.”

 

2. She reveals that one of her biggest goals is…

a)      To vacation in the Greek isles.

b)      To make every day a paradise for her soul mate.

c)       To be recognized as the foremost artist working with body fluids.

 

3. For your second date, you pick her up…

a)      In your Toyota Prius.

b)      A bouquet of roses.

c)       In prison.

 

4. He says before meeting you, he never knew…

a)      What real love was.

b)      How thrilling simply holding hands could be.

c)       That he was heterosexual.

 

5. Her attitude about children is basically…

a)      Life is meaningless without them.

b)      We teach them, but we learn even more from them.

c)       They are best served sautéed with some fava beans and a fine Chianti.

 

6. His relationship with his parents?

a)      He can’t say enough good things about them.

b)      He attributes every one of his positive traits to them.

c)       If you mention them, he breaks out in hives.

 

7. She loves to have sex…

a)      After first establishing a solid bond of friendship.

b)      As often as possible.

c)       In a department store display window, during lunch hour, “Unless you’re too uptight.”

 

8. His attitude about marriage?

a)      It’s a sacred bond that strengthens a couple’s commitment to one another.

b)      It would be the emotional high point of his life.

c)       Can’t afford it, what with the alimony payments to his first three wives.

 

9. Your friends’ first impression of him?

a)      “He’s a keeper!”

b)      “If things don’t work out between you two, can I have his phone number?”

c)       “I first noticed my wallet was missing after he gave me a hug.”

 

10. She confides that her greatest fear in life is…

a)      The possibility that one day she might lose you.

b)      Becoming too incapacitated to take care of herself and you.

c)       That the voices in her head will return for a ninth time, and this time never leave.