I think the feature that allows JDate users to see who has been looking at your profile should be discontinued.  I understand the reason for its existence.  People feel good when they see that other people look at them and even better when that person is of the opposite sex and not related to you.  It’s a nice little rush of date-drenaline when you see all (one) of the girls or boys that have been checking you out.  Here’s what the problem is:

I have developed an online relationship with a girl that lives across the country.  I understand that that is inherently a bad idea and goes against the morals of online dating.  Why start an online relationship with someone that you’re likely to never meet in person? Well, because she was pretty and she talked to me and that doesn’t happen every day.  It made me happy so, fine, maybe I wasn’t supposed to do it but I did and it makes me feel good.  Seeing that she’s online at the same time that I am is a tiny joy in life that my twenty seven years on earth has entitled me to.

The problem comes when she sees that I search for her profile every day.  She’s all like, “What’s up with that?”  And I’m all like, “Damn baby it’s the only way I can see if you’re online when I am because I can’t search for girls in my region because you’re not in my region.”  And then she’s like, “Well that is completely rational and I am flattered that you like me.”  Then I’m like, “I would fly to California to see you like a normal person would do but I can’t afford a two-way ticket.”  And she’s like, “Just buy a one-way ticket.”  And I’m like, “Cause if we don’t end up marrying in like one week, which we probably won’t, then I’ll be stuck in California.”  And then she’s all like, “That is completely reasonable.”

So I am currently continuing my online relationship.  I don’t know if it will eventually go anywhere, but it’s a nice thing to have at the end of the day.  Who knows, maybe she will one day lose her sanity and move to the never-ending unbounded hell that is Houston, Texas.