Dear Tamar,

I’ve been on JDate for a few months now, but have yet to actually go on a physical JDate. I am happy with my profile (positive, honest, etc.) and even got a good friend to give me a second opinion. Also, I’ve been scanning lots of profiles, and have reached out to a few girls that have caught my eye (with IMs or personalized emails). But while this has led to a few nice virtual conversations, nothing more than that has developed. So my question is, am I missing something? Do other people have this hard of a time at first?

Dear Inactive Actions,

This is a great question and I think you will be helping a lot of people by asking it. My questions for you to think about are: have you asked any of the girls out? Have you asked any of the girls for their phone numbers to take the conversation off-line? If your answer to either of these is “NO” then you have no one to blame but yourself. If you have taken action, then you need to take another look at your profile and what you’re saying in the IMs and e-mails. Have more friends or family members edit your profile and suggest photos. Check out the profiles of other guys who match your qualifications (under preferences, change the search options so you can see what your competition looks like — just don’t forget to change it back!). Use the Click!® feature as well as the Views, Hot Lists and Flirts to your advantage so you’re not writing a girl out of the blue, but instead writing the ones who also Click! with you or who have Viewed, Hot Listed and returned Flirts. At the beginning, JDate is not only a monetary commitment but a time commitment.  There are going to be literally hundreds of women who fit your preferences but only a limited amount who will ultimately be interested in you. Take the time to explore and experience all that JDate has to offer before you give up, because the odds are most definitely in your favor.