Both of you are 21. Why be on JDate at such an early age? What is the benefit? What have you found so far? Does Age help or hurt?
I don’t think that it is ever too early to find your beshert. After going to a university known for its “hook-up culture,” I got tired of countless encounters with men who really didn’t appreciate me. The men my age were more interested in getting drunk than getting to know someone. I found that I connected more with men who are older and more serious about settling down and building a life with someone. I grew up in a home where Eastern European Jewish influences are really strong. This means that marriage in your early twenties isn’t only considered a good thing, it is expected! I consider myself the right age to begin my journey of finding someone because this is something that takes time and shouldn’t be rushed. And for those who tell me I’m young and should enjoy my youth? I think they’re wrong – I believe happiness is only real when shared. I’m excited to find someone who wants to share life experiences with me because, trust me, my twenties will be filled with shareable moments.
Being 21 does have a certain aura about it. For the 35+ set, they find it carnally stimulating. They try to spark conversation with me and I politely decline by not responding. I am not trying to become part of someone’s “barely legal” fantasy. For the mid to late-twenties set, they become cautionary when it comes to my age. I find there is a close-mindedness that makes men believe that younger girls are immature and unable to really understand what it takes to get into a serious relationship. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place – my ideal age group is between 24 and 28, but candidates from my ideal age group often think I am “too young.” Newsflash, boys: Women are generally lightyears ahead of men on the maturity scale…
What’s it like dating in Boston/NYC? In Boston do you go on more “college-friendly” dates? Is it fast-paced or hookup-oriented?
Dating in NYC is interesting. I find it to pendulum between extremes – it’s either something that will go somewhere or something that is clearly with the intention of hooking up only. Very infrequently does it stray to the middle area. Dating in NYC can be as harsh as the city. The guys can be overly cocky, the girls are often too prissy. And those guys and gals that are actually down to earth and looking to find true love to no avail in the bar scene? They never seem to cross each other’s paths. It is like some sort of cruel serendipity.
Dating in Boston was more casual. While I wouldn’t deem it more “college-friendly,” I would definitely say it was more “college-kid-budget friendly.” I found that potential suitors were more interested in getting a drink or coffee for the first meeting, rather than committing to the full dinner. This way, they didn’t have to commit a large chunk of change to a girl who was likely not to live up to expectations. NYC dating seems more mature to me.