Dear Gems from Jen,

Are there women who don’t mind a guy who is overweight or is that just a myth? I am not attracted to overweight women, but I doubt fit women are attracted to overweight men. I have stopped taking online dating seriously until I lose weight.  Any advice.
 
Ari

 
Dear Ari,
 
Such an interesting question! Most women are so concerned with their own appearance and what is portrayed to the outside world is that men are sometimes forgotten about when it comes to weight.
 
My belief is that everyone has his/her own idea of what is considered attractive. Our society tends to put an absolute on what is acceptable in terms of outward appearances. That is not to say that appearance does not play a role in dating, however, it is not necessarily the most important factor.
 
I have known many women, both fit and not quite so fit, who have been with men who carry extra weight. Women who are serious about finding a partner will look at all qualities a man has to offer. Weight is just one aspect, and in my opinion, it is a small part of who a person really is and what he or she stands for. We all have images of what we are “supposed” to look like and we can thank the media for that one. Remember, a majority of the models and celebrities are airbrushed, have stylists, make-up artists, plastic surgeons, etc.
 
My best suggestion is to focus less on your weight and more on who you are and what you can offer in terms of a relationship. Don’t wait to take online dating seriously until you reach a particular goal weight.  You could be missing out on someone who is the perfect match for you.  Face the dating world with confidence and keep in mind that everyone has his/her own preferences, so you can rest assured there are women who would be more than happy to meet and date you.
 
Signed,
 
Gems from Jen