Dear Gems from Jen,
 
I have been dating someone I met on JDate for 2-l/2 yrs. and even though he does not access the site he refuses to remove his profile. We argued about this until I gave him an ultimatum.  His answer was ‘If I do not access the site what difference does it make?’  By the way, we are two very senior citizens and this is the only thing we do not agree on. Your view.
 
Dear Profile Remover,
 
My View:
 
Either you are exclusive or you are not. I’m confused about his refusal to remove his profile. Two and a half years is a very long time to be dating someone, and his refusal to remove his profile leaves me wondering about his true intentions. Your job is to protect yourself and make sure you can trust him completely. I’m not sure what your ultimatum was, but I hope you made it very clear that it is not acceptable to be in an exclusive relationship with someone who is keeping a potential option open. Do yourself a favor and make it crystal clear that you are in an exclusive relationship and having a profile, whether active or not, makes you feel as if he is not committing to you completely. If he still refuses to remove his profile I would think long and hard about the reasons as to why he is unwilling to be in the relationship one hundred percent. Remember, do not settle for anything less than you deserve.
 
Signed,
 
Gems from Jen