Ever wonder how some folks like my cousin, who is 27, and his parents, now in their 50’s, both managed to meet their life partner while in high school and still remain together? Then there is a famous author I went to high school with who met his wife in the eighth grade – sickening, right?  For those unique individuals it is a blessing.  However, for the rest of us still single in our 30s and 40s, is there a strategy we should be following? Or, is everything really just up to fate?

Some would argue it is a numbers game. I’ve heard the expression, ’If you throw enough spaghetti against the wall, some of it is bound to stick.’  But for a hopeless romantic, not only is this an exhausting concept, but also a very unromantic one. Sounds perfect in the scope of sales and business development but for a life partner?  Then of course there is the “meet cute” Hollywood romance of getting Prince/Princess Charming’s dry cleaning instead of your own. Ridiculously romantic but not very likely.

My theory is a combination. Above all else you have to be ready and open to finding a relationship. For me, any long-term relationship wasn’t even a possibility until my thirties because I was living  abroad and in grad school.  I think the experience of the numbers game (i.e. dating) helps clarify what you need in a life partner and gets you out meeting people.  But as a friend recently put it, after a point, sometimes too many options equate into no options.  And I couldn’t agree more.