Dear Matchmaker Rabbi,

I met someone who seemed interested but before we had the chance to meet, I was asked very directly if I would be willing to relocate. My response was, “Not sure as we hardly know each other,” and then I was told, “My time is very valuable.” So, while still agreeing to meet him, I let him know if he could not make the appointment we had set to please let me know. And so he did try to reach me and left a cell phone message. I was left with the option to meet very briefly on a work day when it appeared more convenient for him. Very disappointing encounter, and we never met.


Dear Discouraged,

Honestly? This guy sounds like a jerk. Run, don’t walk, in the other direction.

What, is your time not also valuable? If someone isn’t willing to invest time to meet, how is he going to act two or five years down the road?

My all-time favorite quote from Oprah was this one: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”

-The Matchmaker Rabbi

To ask the Matchmaker Rabbi a question, email her at

Joysa Winter, aka The Matchmaker Rabbi, knows all about how hard it is to find lasting love. It took her 17 years to find Mr. Not Wrong! In that time, she tried just about every singles site, dating club and Matzah Ball known to humanity. Now a rabbinical student and the mother of 2 young kids, nothing brings her greater joy than officiating a wedding. She is finishing a book on her dating misadventures called Chasing Cupid, Tales of Dating Disaster in Jewish Suburbia. Read more about it at
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