What would you say if I told you I could tell from your online profile that you’re bitter about love?
There are a few key things a person can put in his profile that tip me off to the fact that he’s one bitter dude. It’s the kind of thing that instantly creates the image of someone with a big old chip on his shoulder. Here are a few of the tell-tale signs of dating bitterness:
- “I’m not looking for drama.”
- “I’m not interested in playing games.”
- “I’m tired of never hearing back from potential dates.”
- “I’m not interested in cheaters.”
- “I’m looking for the opposite of my ex.”
When people do things like this, they think that somehow by stating these “declarations” they’ll then end up avoiding the same problems. That’s not the case. All statements like those do is point out that someone entering the dating pool with a big sign that says, “Comes with extra-heavy baggage.”
Whether you mean to or not, you may be giving off signs that you’re bitter and jaded, which is a turn-off to people looking for love online. Here are a few signs you need to get your bitterness in check.
1. Let Go Of Rejection
Did she not write you back? Messaging her how she’s a jerk or other unkind words won’t win you any favors with her … or in life. Sometimes, people don’t like us online or in person. There’s nothing you can do about it, so just let it go and move on.
2. Keep Your Ex Out Of It
Going to a date and rattling off a list of complaints about your ex? Oy vey! If you really need to dump and vent, see a therapist or talk to a friend. It’s off-putting to have someone complain about an ex on a first date.
3. Focus On The Positive
Make sure your profile has all positives and not one negative. You can share your struggles or dating baggage later on once you know someone better. This doesn’t mean hesitating to mention you’re a parent or a widow online, but that the profile should be future-focused and positive.
4. Have Realistic Expectations
You shouldn’t have grand expectations for each date. The chances of finding love do exist, but they are not high. You must be patient. But if you go on every date expecting find something wrong with the person, you’ll do just that. Instead, keep an open mind and look for the positives.
5. Avoid Interrogation
Try not to hammer the person down with too many questions on the first message or two. It can be overwhelming for the other person, and it makes you look a bit impatient and demanding.
6. Save Your Judgements For Later
Don’t approach each person with the idea that they’ll probably be just like your ex. Let the person show you who he or she is before you start to judge.
If you find it truly difficult to follow these tips, your bitterness may have gotten the best of you and you may need a break from dating. Don’t let bitterness turn off a potentially suitable match for you. When you approach dating with a positive frame of mind, you’ll get much better results.
You may also be interested in Relationship Must-Haves: Adjusting Expectations Without Settling For Less