You know when you’re dating someone and you start getting that nagging feeling in your stomach that makes you question everything in your relationship? I know that feeling all too well from a past relationship of mine, and while in hindsight everything is crystal clear and it just meant that this relationship wasn’t the right one for me, at the time, it was not a fun feeling. It’s a feeling of jealousy and the need for reassurance, and it’s just not cute, ladies.
Pangs Of Jealousy
If you’re in a relationship you’re supposed to be in, you’re not going to get those pangs of jealousy. When you’re confident enough in not only yourself, but also in your relationship, there’s nothing to be concerned about. I’m not saying one can never and should never be jealous, but I am saying that it’s not an attractive quality, and that you should check yourself when these feelings arise.
Why are you jealous? Why are you always wanting and needing reassurance? Is it because you’re scared he’ll run off with some other girl? Is it because you don’t believe you’re worthy of his love? Is it because someone cheated on you in a past relationship? Whatever the reason might be, take a breather and think about why it is that you’re feeling this way. If it’s because of a former relationship, well, that’s in the past. You need to be up here in the present where life is happening. Just because an ex slept with your co-worker doesn’t mean your current boyfriend is going to do the same.
There needs to be a certain level of trust between you and your significant other. If there’s no trust, there’s no relationship. And if there’s a reason you’re lacking that trust component, sit down with your partner and chat about it. Needing reassurance is not a healthy way to have a relationship. You don’t want to be the girl who is constantly in need of being told that things are okay. You should just believe that things are okay until you have reason to believe otherwise. It’ll get a bit old if your partner is having to reassure you every day. Plus, it takes a toll on his self-esteem since you’re essentially implying that he’s not trustworthy.
The Cling Factor
Whatever you do, don’t be the clingy girlfriend or boyfriend! Be confident and independent in your relationship. Have your own life, and don’t depend on your significant other for everything. I promise (because, well, I’ve been there), the clingier you are, the less likely it is that this relationship will last, and the more likely it is that your partner will grow tired of you.
At the end of the day, it’s honestly all about trust. Trust yourself. Trust your partner. Trust your relationship. If there’s an issue causing you to lose trust, then speak up and communicate. Communication is everything. But once it’s spoken about and you’ve both said your piece, then move on from it. Don’t harp on the situation. Jealousy is never cute, but confidence is!
You may also be interested in 5 Tips For Letting Your Guard Down In A New Relationship